Can anyone tell me what it’s like? I need a viewpoint from someone who has been in a serious long distance relationship.
I feel like I had something really special going on with a guy I used to talk to but the only problem was that he lived states away from me. He was so sweet and drove 9 hours just to see me and I screwed it up because I’m afraid I can’t handle a long distance relationship, it’s so hard to be with someone and not be able to touch them and see them regularly. My mind can’t grasp it.
I contemplate reaching out to him often, I feel like I really messed up by not giving the long distance part of it a chance.
2 comments
I’ve been in two long distance relationships in my life, each lasting nearly 2 years. In the 1st relationship we were about a 19 hour drive apart, or two 1.5 hour flights. The 2nd relationship we were a 6 hour drive apart so it was easier to see each other.
It’s definitely difficult being away from the person you love. But in both relationships we would either video call or chat daily, often falling asleep together on Skype. It was fun sending things by mail and surprising the other person with a visit, or meeting up in a new city together to have a weekend away. I feel like each time I saw both partners it was an adventure.. we would make the most of each visit and try so many new things. The sex after not seeing your partner for awhile is also amazing!
With all that said, missing your partner sucks, and it’s important you have a long term plan to be together in the future (assuming that’s what you want). It makes the distance manageable when you know it’s not forever.
Just to add, both my relationships ended for reasons unrelated to the distance. Either we grew apart as people or our goals didn’t align.
I hope this gives you some perspective!
You have to define what it means to *you* with regard to making a LDR *work*.
Is it committing to exclusivity for 3 months, 6 months, a year or more?
When I met my wife online, we lived (2000 miles) apart. We took turns monthly flying out to spend time with one another in addition to having daily/evening phone conversations, text, and email exchanges. At about the one-year mark I decided to relocate and move in together.
Long distance relationships are meant to be temporary.
The goal is to *be with* the person you love or care about.
When there is no *realistic* “light at the end of the tunnel” whereby someone will be relocating to be with the other couples in long distance relationships usually end up drifting apart.
It is the counting down of the months, weeks, and days until one is finally done with the inconvenience of being in a long-distance relationship that keeps it strong!
The only valid reason for entering into a long-distance relationship is the belief that you have met “the one”. Otherwise, if you’re just dating for *the fun of it* you might as well do that locally.
***”A long-distance relationship can only work if there is a plan to end the distance.”*** – Unknown
Best wishes!