What’s one piece of advice you would give to your younger self about navigating adulthood and masculinity?

23 comments

1. Excercise and eat right. It’s hard but just do it.

2. Wipe the back of your balls when you have diarrhea

3. You don’t have to be aggressive to stand up for yourself and those you love. Toughness doesn’t have to be an in-your-face macho type thing. It also doesn’t have to be devoid of all emotion. Let yourself feel things and manage those feelings.

4. You don’t know everything. And that’s fine.

5. Always consider the source of the things you hear.

6. Don’t let others opinions deter you from your passion and dreams.

7. Learn to shut the fuck up. I have mouthed off to too many employers and people that I needed.

8. Turns out grandpa knew his shit.

9. I’d tell myself that in terms of figuring myself out, I’m already on a path that works for me, and I’ll be happy about that.

   I’d also tell myself to get that college job sooner. Everything worked out in a crunch, but if I already had a job, I probably would’ve ended up a little bit better.

10. Don’t worry about being a man, be more concerned about being a good man.

11. Learn how to ask questions, and learn to figure out that you aren’t a bother

12. The main thing I would tell him is “masculinity is not in itself toxic”. There’s a lot of discussion on how masculinity is toxic nowadays. There exists “toxic masculinity” and there existe “masculinity” the two are not the same

13. “take no shit, do some harm if you feel you really really just have too”

14. Men overestimate how “hard” they ought to be and underestimate how “silly” then really ought to be. Be someone who is well rounded rather than extreme.

15. Stop being ashamed so much, everything you worry about is perfectly normal, and everyone around you is going through shit too. Also, thinking you don’t care that you don’t have a Dad is total BS, and is covering a lot of crappy issues you should deal with sooner, rather than later.

16. Ask a lot of questions before committing to a LTR. Take more risks in business.

17. You’re stronger than you know, set your sights as high as possible.

18. “Stop giving a shit about masculinity and don’t associate with people who do”

19. The loudest guys in the room, the ones that refuse to wear colors other than ‘masculine’ colors like black, brown, or blue, the ones that drive giant lifted trucks, the ones that think it’s lame to ever compliment other dudes/act nice or courteous/ask other dudes how they’re doing, the ones that let ‘masculine’ professions and/or hobbies define themselves are usually the most insecure and have the most fragile egos.

    Be a good dude: be respectful, help anyone out you can, be the guy that helps people out of lockers vs the guy that shoves them in.

20. When you hate yourself, accept it and choose to change to what you’d rather be. I think self hate is awful but the solution is navigating through it rather than seeking to deny it.

21. Read history and laugh at the absurdity of it all

22. Don’t worry, you’ll be perfectly fine!

23. Don’t try to please everyone