What’s the biggest adjustment you had to make going from single to taken?

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1. my towels got a major upgrade

2. Not having as much alone time to do random things.

3. Having someone to hold me accountable for simple household chores. I have ADHD and tend to “follow the dopamine” so things like dishes or sweeping can be put off for days if I’m fixating on something else and left to my own devices.

4. ~~Raising step kids~~

   ~~Having to communicate more often where I go, when I come back~~

   ~~Sacrifice time with friends to maintain the relationship~~

   ~~Etc.~~

5. For the all-too-brief amount of time I’ve not been single in my life, the most challenging adjustment I had to make was the fact that there was an attractive woman who sought my physical and emotional company.

   That’s at odds with everything else my life experience has drummed into my skull, and probably paid a part in the trust issues that invariably arose. “She can’t *actually* like you; this is a game she’s playing, and laughing at you behind your back.”

   I’m so far gone at this point in my life than I’m not sure anyone can reach me through all the layers of accumulated anti-worth caked up in my mind.

6. When I was single, I could do everything I wanted, but now that I’m taken, my actions have limitations.

7. Communication styles bro. You grow up in different families where different subconscious small actions and tones mean different things. My family is very upfront and passionate and we wear our hearts on our sleeeves. In her family everything is pushed aside until it explodes so anything can be seen as passive aggressive or you’re upset about something. She also had a hard time telling me what she’s thinking/wanting and understanding that if I suggest an option it’s because I’m trying to discuss with her not tell her what she’s allowed to do. I had a hard time understanding why I was upsetting her because in my head I’m speaking normally but she hears it as rude or that I’m upset about something.

   We still struggle with this sometimes but it’s something her and I actively work on still. We’ve been together for 7 years

8. A lot of blending daily processes and adjusting to different habits

9. That I’m not the only person in the bed anymore.

   Little story. Apparently I like to talk in my sleep and fight in my sleep. A lot of the time my fiancé finds it funny and she’ll tell me about my conversations when I wake up, but there’s been a few times where my body moves in my sleep. Not like roll over, but I’ll punch and kick the air and such. One that I vividly remember is I got into a fight and it turned into a grapple fight. I got the person in a bear hug and I’m squeezing around the rib cage. I noticed that my arm feels warm. I woke up and realized I was snuggled up to my fiancé and that I was squeezing her. I didn’t sleep the rest of the night and waited for her to wake up. When she woke up the first thing I asked her was if she was ok. She was confused and said “Yea, why?” I said I had squeezed her in my sleep and felt bad and wanted to make sure she wasn’t hurting anywhere. She said she felt fine.

   I might not have put on as much pressure as I thought I did, but for me it was the shock that I was squeezing her that made me panic.