What’s the most obvious hint you’ve missed?

36 comments

1. Hey, its my last day in [city], wanna come over and say goodbye?

   – nope, bye.

2. I was 18 and my buddy invited me to come hang out with some girls at his apartment. We all get pretty drunk and the hottest of the hot invited me to come back to her apartment in the same complex.

   I went, and being a gentleman, volunteered to sleep on the couch even though she volunteered her bed. She tried the next morning by sitting on the chair across from me with her legs spread out talking about I can’t remember what.

   Looking back there were loads of signs and I missed every one because I was just happy to be hanging with some fun people. My buddies laugh and say that she probably remembers the time when a guy showed no interest in her since she usually had dudes throwing themselves at her.

3. First day of freshman year in high school, I was brand new to the city and very socially unaware because I came from a semi-rural area. In my 4th period American history class a beautiful blonde girl next to me leans over at the start of class and said “Hey, you wanna come to my place after school with me and Mindy? We can smoke a blunt and ride a trike.” And my dumbass said I couldn’t because basketball tryouts were that day. It wasn’t until an hour later that I realized what I had just turned down. It’s been 13 years and I still regret it.

4. I was in this girls dorm room in college and we ended up talking about masturbation and she said looking straight at me “I’d honestly rather have sex but it’s been awhile“ and I was like “oh that sucks, well I got to go” 🤦🏽‍♂️

5. Worked at this place with a girl I went to school with, always thought she was gorgeous, she started hanging on me and following me about at work. Like if I went to smoke she was right behind me (didn’t smoke)

   Well one night I’m about to jump in the car and leave when she drops in the passenger seat and asks if I’m ever gonna take her for a spin. I asked her to get out of car so I could go home. She stopped hanging around after.

6. Okay I had a friendship plus with a girl and I told her it would be interesting to experience a threesome. She said if she can find another girl, she will do it with me. Some days later I met her again and she had a friend visiting her. The both girls were sitting on the bed and I was sitting in a chair next to it. I told her friend she has really nice hair and would look like a hair model from those commercials. She liked the compliment and answered I would be such a handsome guy. After a few minutes they both asked, if I wouldn’t be more comfortable laying between them, instead of sitting on the chair…..

   Yeah I know, I’m a total idiot for missing that hint.

   I said the chair is very comfy and we just continued talking.

   Later I was alone with my friend and she asked if I wasn’t in the mood today.

   This was the moment I realized how hard I fucked up. I got home and cried myself to sleep. It’s almost 20 years ago and I still hate myself for being such an idiot.

7. “You know, I always had a crush on you”.

   Yes, I was that dense in high school.

8. Super hot girl: I bleached my butthole today, wanna see it?

   Me: no I do that all the time, I know what it looks like.

9. I was very recently divorced and had 2 tickets to see an amazing concert. So I put it on FB if anyone wanted to join me. One of my old female friends responded that she’d be in town for work but she’d stay and extra day or two and be my date. She’s also hotter than the sun. We went for drinks, dinner, saw a fucking amazing concert (front row tickets) and had an all around amazing night. I took her back to her Air BNB and she asked if I was OK to drive (we’d had a few drinks.) I told her I was good to go. She said “seriously, why don’t you just stay here for the night to be sure”. I reassured her that I was fine to drive. She then gave me one of those full body hugs where she pressed her entire self into me and held on for what seemed like forever.

   It was about 30 minutes into my drive home where I started punching the steering wheel.

10. Having my crush look me in the eye and admit they have a crush on me.

    My brain immediately interpreted she must be joking as I had zero faith in such luck existing, and therefore dismissed it.

    Still, having said that: as she later on got together with a guy and they quickly got kids etc., I realized I would not have been ready to have kids at the moment, and I’m pretty sure her kids with her and her man are living a nice life, being wanted and stuff.

11. Oh boy, I have a good one. Sat next to this pretty brunette in one class in college, we get to know each other reasonably well. One day, we get on the subject of swimming. She invites me to go swimming with her, but we needed to “go to her room so I could tell her which bikini looked best on her first.” My stupid ass just says, “no, just pick one and meet me at the pool.” There was a long pause, and she made up some excuse about why she actually couldn’t go. It took me three years before I mentioned that incident to a female friend, who then explained to me what an idiot I was.

12. She always wanted to get me to hold the ladder while she got something off of a high shelf. She always wore short skirts.

13. In high school, “titty twisters” were a common occurrence. Mostly girls doing it to guys. I had a significant amount of girl friends. But I had a rule, they got only one. Any time after that I was returning the favor. This stopped a lot of it.

    But a few would get their one in and stop. One girl, every couple of weeks, would do it to me. So I’d return the favor. No keep in mind, she wasn’t being nice. This was grabbing my nipple, pinching, and twisting HARD. So I thought she was just a little nuts. She even acted offended when I’d grab her whole boob and twist. She had small ones and I have big hands. I honestly thought she was just trying to annoy me. A couple years after high school one of her friends told me that she had a HUGE crush on me.

14. While getting my degree, I shared a lot of classes with this girl and we naturally became school friends. She was really really attractive and had a great sense of humor. We were the type of friends where we sit next to each other in class, maybe exchange a meme or two over the weekend, but not really hang out outside of a school setting.

    While in a mandatory chemistry class, I was leaning over looking through a microscope and was wearing a v-neck shirt (they were maybe in fashion at the time). She looked at me and said, “I didn’t know you had so much chest hair, that’s hot.” And literally placed her hand on my chest and ran her fingers up through my chest hair.

    My response was something to the effect of “mhm…”

    After we graduated, we lost touch. Still follow each other on social media and she is living a lovely life with her fiance. I’m very happy for her, but I will carry the shame of my cluelessness to my grave.

15. When I was like 21 or 22, my friend gave me a long drawn out hug in front of her place as I dropped her off. She just pulled her head back, lined up her lips to mine, stared at me for a while, then said, “okay, bye!”, before running off. 4 or so years later she told me she gave me every sign that she was into me and to kiss her, but I didn’t. I remember that moment and I remember thinking, “Oh, she missed a hair on her upper lip when waxing. The lone survivor in a wax-ocalyptic world. Will it find another of its kind to repopulate the vermillion border, or will it be plucked like the rest, way before its time!”

16. This one is really funny and kinda wholesome in hindsight. I’d love to post the whole date at some point.

    There’s a TL:DR at the bottom

    THANKFULLY SHE DIDNT LET ME MESS IT UP

    “Quickly” I’ll just say this part of the date:

    We were at her place we made food together, ate, and she gave me an alcoholic beverage for the first time in my life.

    We were watching a show (this show has worked wonders for me on dates) and cuddling/spooning on her couch while watching it. It’s a show I liked but I also picked it bc it has some steamy scenes and romance throughout.

    We end up on like the third episode of the show and she’s been kind of caressing my hand and stuff. She starts to turn around to look at me (we’re both laying on our side horizontally on the couch and she’s laying in front of me).

    About 3 minutes later, she turns around again and is smiling at me intensely staring into my eyes (I was getting over a lack of confidence in general and inability to maintain eye contact, I was doing good but this was hard for me).

    She did this again and again, every couple of minutes she would turn around and stare into my eyes (I’m ngl I was scared at this point xD) eventually she would keep staring into my soul for like 2 minutes straight and started rubbing my chest too, but she turned back around.

    This is the funniest part my friends and family love:

    I sat there thinking this: “WHY DOES SHE KEEP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT? ITS MAKING ME A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE…”

    Eventually she just said eff it, she turned to me and just started kissing me. I was in COMPLETE SHOCK then closed my eyes and in bliss for like 15 seconds. She pulled away and said “Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. You weren’t ready and I forced you ” or something like that.

    My dumba** finally connected the dots of course.

    I told her no, that I really liked it and kind of pulled her to turn back to me and we started making out for a really long time.

    It is now that I mention I hadn’t kissed anyone in a LONG time due to unrelated issues in my life.

    The whole date was awesome and I grew a lot from it, she was obviously an angel. I didn’t deserve her at the time so we didn’t end up working out. I was hurt but now I’m just glad she was patient with me, gave me some experience/confidence and got me out of my shell.

    Maybe the most surprising part will be the ages at the time:
    I(19/20M) met her(24F) through Hinge and she was an English teacher. She also took my V card that night. She was also one of the most attractive (to me) women I’ve met in person. When she opened the door to her place I think my jaw dropped maybe literally and it was winter and I almost slipped on her front doorstep lol.

    TL;DR:

    Girl invited me over. We cuddled/spooned while watching show. She kept turning around to “stare” me in the eyes while smiling brightly. I was very confused and uncomfortable since I was confused… I though to myself “Why does she keep staring at me like that?”. Eventually she just got tired of waiting and started kissing me. I finally realized why she was “staring” at me lol.

17. Hanging out with a friend girl. She was chilling in my room on the couch, me sitting beside her, and put her legs on my thighs while watching TV. Didn’t do anything. She invited me to her house a week later to watch a movie. She only had the bed to sit on in her room, we end up laying down next to each other.

    It gets worse. She texts me and says “she just wants to hook up with someone, any ideas?”

    I tell her about my friend. Not me. Why didn’t I say me? I’m an idiot.

    I have at least 2 other girls I was too stupid about. And 1 I was actually catching on about, but she intimidated me because she was older.

18. She literally asked me to Netflix and Chill, and I said no…I am a fucking melon head.

19. I had a woman tell me she was trying to have sex with me and I laughed because I thought she was making a joke. Her eyes narrowed and her face got stern and she said in a low and more aggressive tone, ‘Dxxxx, I am trying to have sex with you.’

    I understood it the second time.

20. A woman was sleeping over. Somehow the topic of sex came up and I said its been a while. She was on her period but offered a blowjob. I declined thinking she was just being nice

21. “I like a one night stand as much as the next person.” I told her I had to go home because I was tired. The next morning I was so mad at myself.

22. In college a woman and I got into a tickle fight and she invited me back to her single dorm to keep going. I said no thanks, Past me was really REALLY oblivious.

23. In highschool this girl i liked asked if she could sit next to me on the bus to school (imagine like a large long distance bus which there were like 7 other people other than me, so plenty of free seats). And i was like “sure, thats cool”, and continued listening to my music, feeling awkward the whole way as i fogured there qould be no chance in hell she would actually be interested in me. Talked with a female friend about this like a month later and she said i was a dense MFer as what other reason could she possibly have to sit next to me other than her wanting to talk to me. A couple months later she started seeing someone else whoch she dated on and off throughout highscholl and now is married to with 2 kids. I still reslly liked her all the way through highschool, and took me quite a while after to fully get over her.

    I played guitar and piano amongst other things and she was a wonderful singer, and we (along with some other people) played quite a few gigs together during highschool.

24. Just last week I was in a discotheque, ordering at the bar and this cute girl comes to order too and start talking to me. I didn’t think much of it and actually thought she was a bit weird in the way she was talking. I bought her a drink and that was the end of it. I realized later girls usually don’t approach so she was probably into me but shy af at the same time.
    I’m just completely oblivious I guess

25. Was at my aunt’s wedding and my cousin had a bunch of her friends there. One of them ended up hanging out with me after everyone else went to bed. We stayed up for hours drinking and talking, at one point we decided to get in the hot tub but we didn’t have our bathing suits. She stripped naked as did I but I sat on the other side of the tub trying to be a gentlemen. There were a million other hints and opportunities, all missed until the next day…

26. After spending the whole day together having lunch and drinking she says:

    -Hey, your train back is in 30 minutes, do you want to see my new place? It is 5 minutes walk from here.
    -Sure

    So we go there, I see her new place, I say it is nice and I leave

27. A hot friend called me and said she wanted me to take her for a ride (motorcycle) so I ride over and pick her up. She is holding on super tight as we ride around our little college town. We get back her apartment and she invites me in to watch a show I like that she hates. I said “no, that’s ok…I know you hate that show.”. We went on break and she met someone else.

    Met a super cute girl at the gym and we chatted quite a bit with her telling me we needed to hang out several times and I just replied with a generic “for sure”. After a few weeks she stops by my work to say hi completely dressed up and to my surprise she is an absolute smoke show. She tells me she just wanted to say hi and chat before she goes to dinner with her family and says “when you get off work you should come by, I’ll probably
    just be getting home about then. Yeah, took years for that to click.

    Hanging out in a girls dorm room and she asks “so when are we going to finish what we started” referencing a night we were fooling around until her roommate came home upset. I didn’t realize that is what she meant until days later, by then her and her ex got back together.

    Dozens of me thinking “she is just being nice” while my female friends and coworkers try to convince me to some beautiful woman was hitting on me.

    If my wife had not gotten tired of me being dumb and made the first move I would likely still be single.

28. The girl literally took of her shirt and said “well since you’re my best friend how about we go and have some fun?”, i said “yea maybe later” while thinking about how i own my friend 3 ak47’s and 10500 metal fragments in Rust not realizing she was flirty with me the whole night and even fell asleep on me while i was laying on the floor, she is also the prettiest girl i met and literally every other guy got turned down by her and everyone wanted to be with her and i had a chance since her bff told me she liked me later but she started ignoring me, she found a bf and we didnt speak ever again.💀 (i literally fucked up something thats un fuck uppable)

29. Young and very naive at the time.

    On holiday in Spain and a hot girl who I’d seen around looking at me knocked on my door and said she didn’t know what dress to wear out could she show me the options in her apartment.

    Stupidly I said “sure, put on your favorite one and call back over and I’ll tell you which I prefer.”

    She called back over 5 mins later in a really hot red dress and I said, “great choice.”

    We stood there in silence for a bit and, looking back, she had this look on her face like “ask me out you idiot.”

    To break tension I said “have a great evening” and went back in to the apartment alone.

30. Ooof, one to many for this idiot here. My own top picks:

    1. In high school, a girl was interested in me. Always sitting next to me, always asking me to hang out. When we do, always want to play mom and dad, kiss, ect… Once, we were walking in school chatting and she went into the nurse’s office and grabbed a condom hinting me “maybe WE can use it later after school”. I was too focused on my games and psp at that time. Didn’t realise what’s up after I moved away and my mates told me.

    2. Was in uni in Melbourne, cute housemate moved in. We got along very well. She asked me to go to the city centre for a shopping spree with her, throughout the day, she held my hand, laughed at whatever dumb ass shit I said. Had a dinner and walked home while she was holding onto me. Asked me what I thought about her “friend” that really liked a housemate and want to have a relationship with him and what I thought about it. I told her “nah, can’t complicate things when you’re housemate, it’ll be really awkward if things don’t work out”. Ever since then, she took a distance and moved out soon after. Didn’t talk much after that day. The landlord (son of the owner of the house) told me he accepted her because he thought we would be a good match and I recently went through a breakup.

    I am the dumbest fucking guy that have ever existed…

31. A really cute girl (who was also smokin’ hot and was on the cheerleading team) asked me one day, “(pointing to the community pool near our school) *hey you said you don’t swim well? I could teach you how to swim and then after we could maybe hang out at my house? My parents are away during the day*,” to which I replied “*oh that’s cool, but I usually do my homework after school so no thanks*”

    Been 15 years now, still thinking about it :/

32. **Story 01**: Me 28, her 29. Finished a date with “Jane” and drove her back to her apartment. She hopped out, rested her arms on top of my car, leaned into my car so that her boobaloobaloobies hung down a bit and asked if I wanted to come upstairs to her apartment.

    I wasn’t even thinking about sex when I said, “Nah, got a big day at work tomorrow and I need to get the prep done for that tonight.”

    A year later, I realized what she actually wanted.

    **Story 02**: My (16 at the time) first job ever was bagging groceries in a supermarket. One of the cashiers, “Linda” (18F), was about to start college. And she was a punk. Like a REAL punk. Had an Operation Ivy sticker on her car and everything. Sexy af too.

    Somehow, I (not even remotely a punk) was the only one who could make her laugh. Many had tried; all had failed. But there was a new sheriff in town.

    We had sort of a Bond/Moneypenny thing going. I thought we were just kidding around with each other. Turns out, we were flirting and I was too big of a moron to realize it.

    So, one night she cornered me and asked if I wanted to come to her house the following night (when we were both off work) to “watch movies and stuff. Because my parents are out of town and we can, you know, hang out”. I laughed and said no can do, I was going out with a friend.

    …

    I was a moron.

    Anyway, Linda flew to Europe to start college in August and we haven’t seen each other since then.

33. Met my wife in a bar.

    She stops me coming back from the bathroom to ask about my day and stuff, but I wasn’t paying attention and just said, “what?”

    Obviously ruining her attempt to hit on me, she told me to go fuck myself and stormed out. I found her outside later smoking a cigarette and apologized. Ended up “turning things around” and took her home that night.

    We were together for several years at this point and engaged, and I was talking to my best man about how we met. He said he loved the story of how we met.

    I was confused, I thought it was a funny story about how she told me to fuck off and I turned a no into a yes.

    My friend gently corrected me. He told me she was out to get laid, and my poor recovery to a few questions fucked that all up. She was mad because I appeared uninterested. And her coming home with me was already decided when she first approached me in that bar. Again, we’re engaged at this point, and I take my phone over to her to ask if that was what happened. She laughed at me and said, “duh,” pretty much.

    A lot of things connected for me. Like I said I always swore that I turned a no into a yes. However, it was always a sure thing, all that was needed was my participation.

    We’ve been together almost seven years, and have been married almost a year. I’m very happy this, “miss,” was one that paid off with the love of my life.

34. I had been dating a woman for a couple months.

    We were out at a dinner date at a restaurant one night. After dinner, she invites me to come over to her place for some dessert.

    We get to her place, and she puts a cake onto her kitchen counter.

    She tells me baked the cake earlier that day, and it just needs some icing put on it now.

    She puls out a big bowl of icing. She ices the cake, and then looks at the bowl. She says, “Aww, there’s still some icing left over in the bowl”. She puts her finger into the bowl of icing, and covers her finger in icing.

    She looks me dead in the eye, puts her entire finger into her mouth, and *slowly* licks the icing off of her finger.

    I eat a piece of cake, thank her for a lovely evening, and leave.

    I go to sleep at my home, only to wake up at about 3 AM. I think for a couple minutes, and then I scream into my pillow.

35. Oh boy it was so obvious and to this day I can’t work out how I missed it.

    I’m an aircraft engineer, so work with pilots & cabin crew daily.

    Anyway, one day the aircraft was delayed, an issue with pilots, one was sick the other was out of hours.

    Cabin crew were onboard and finished all their pre-boarding checks.

    I was sat in the flight deck, killing time on my phone.

    One cabin crew comes into the flight deck and we start chatting.

    She turns the topic onto my phone. Along the lines of she’s just bought one similar and doesn’t know how to use it.

    We talk through how to use the phone.

    Just as the replacement pilots arrive and it’s my time to leave the aircraft, she says to me.

    “I’m not actually based here, I have a hotel room at the Radisson in the terminal for when I get back, you should come up and show me how to use the phone”

    Me knowing the flight get backs at 9pm, stupidly misses the hint and responds with “sorry my shift finishes at 7pm, and I’ll be home by then” (home was 10 minutes away from the airport.

    AHHHHHH I WAS YOUNG AND NAIVE

36. Her: “where are you from”

    Me: *tells her my country of origin*

    Her: *with googly eyes* “wow I’ve never been with a guy from (country)”

    Me: *proceeds to tell her how big of a community we have and how’s there’s many opportunities to meet my people*