During an argument My wife of 4 years told me she married the wrong guy. It felt like an atomic bomb and I don’t think I’ll ever forgive her. But to her, it seemed like just another insult.
Three days later I explained calmly how it broke me, but she was too stressed after a work day to discuss it. She does not seem to care.
I resent her for the comment and I suspect there was truth behind it. Does anyone have any experience brushing off something like that ?
7 comments
You don’t. There are some things you just never say, regardless of how mad you are.
Sounds like her mouth is writing checks her body can’t cash…
I’d have left immediately until she PROFUSELY apologized. You need boundaries.
Those are words she can’t take back. Yikes! I’m so sorry, she sounds emotionally immature.
That was a REALLY shitty thing for her to say… then not apologize? No one deserves to be treated like that… I would NEVER say something that hurtful to my spouse
You say she said it as an insult, but maybe that’s how she really feels and she’s been holding it back for a while now. There’s nothing you can do but take her at her words.
I’m confused- she said something extremely caustic, refuses to address it, and you’re…what, exactly? Taking it? Time to find your big boy pants, call jer out, and tell her she can address and fix this or you’re walking. Otherwise, welcome to being an emotional doormat.
That was a very low blow. I am sorry. She should have apologized and made amends.
I would have a very difficult time getting over that comment. What other insults has she slung at you, and has she ever apologized? Can you try MC?
People who have never been really, truly hurt have an amazing capacity to recover from such insults. They don’t understand how others can take thing so hard and have it stay with them.
They don’t understand how it can be so bad because they’ve never experienced the like. I literally had my wife call me dramatic (in front of our therapist!) and petty because I brought up something she said years ago that stuck with me, and she never apologized for.
Unfortunately, the result is that she will be at arms length emotionally for the rest of our marriage because I can never trust her with my feelings again.
Letting it go is self-abadonement, and it’s a sure first step toward depression and resentment. You need to hold her accountable, and if she doesn’t accept it, she needs to accept the consequences that accrue to your relationship.