Hey all — I’m 31 years old, and as I push through my post grad-school lifestyle, I’m finding it increasingly hard to manage balancing work, staying active, cooking, cleaning, having hobbies, a social life, etc. Now, before you say “Welcome to adulthood,” I feel like this is a more nuanced conversation and it would be nice to hear how other guys who live alone manage their day-to-days.
For guys who end up living with their girlfriends or wives, I feel like it’s easier to manage day-to-day life affairs because you have your partner to lean on when things get hectic. Househould tasks can be split up, responsibility/burden shifting when necessary, etc. Living alone has proved to have its challenges, and over the past year especially, I’ve caught myself slipping into a mundane and routine lifestyle in which I’ve become less and less efficient at managing my life. Maybe this is more of a “me” problem, but with that being said, I’d like to hear how you all navigage the throws of your post-20s.
Thanks!
22 comments
Why do you assume that you cant in the first place?
Thats the unhealthy thing.
Cutting food high in sugar, saturated fat, sodium, and cholesterol helps.
If I indulge in comfort food, I give it a 1-2 per month limit.
I schedule in, more or less, the routine things, not necessarily on a fixed day but in a way that I always have to e.g. have a certain level of cleanliness or food in or whatever, so I kind of “replenish” that level on a continuous cycle. Cooking I make sure that I cook more than one portion (anyway, it’s easier than using “half a vegetable” or something when you live on your own) so I have back-ups in the fridge and freezer for those days when other things take over and the chores go on the back burner.
Because I have those things covered, I can be a bit more spontaneous with things like social life and staying fit. If I feel a bit bleurgh, I can text a friend and spontaneously hang out without having stuff pile up, or I can swap around a time I was going to go to the gym with another empty evening to use that time to go to an event instead if something comes up at the last minute.
Writing that out I think I realised as well the big thing for my personality type is to keep the feeling of spontaneity in my life. Even though in reality I have a routine, or rather on-going “replenishment cycle” for my chores, if I tell myself I have to work out on Tues, Thurs, Sun, and Fri is for drinks and Weds is for cleaning the house, I don’t stick to it. If I know I need to do those things in that week, but I feel like going for a run on Mon because it’s sunny, then I had a crappy day at work on Tues so I want to grab a couple of beers with some mates, then I still get in the exercise and socialising etc because I was committed to doing it at some point in the week, but it doesn’t feel like every week is the same and I’m getting bored. If I get bored, as I said, I have an off evening and then things slowly start piling up or I feel like I’m always playing catch-up.
Personally, I’ve been spending more time in the gym, playing my guitars, and engaging with people in public (every other blue moon). Just some things to break up the monotony of “work, eat, sleep, repeat”. Saying ‘find a hobby’ seems a bit dismissive,, but that’s what works for me.
Bro what is stopping you.
I see you have no major commitments, so it seems like you can wake up without much issues.
But take it one step at a time. Create small achievable goals, yep chasing that dopamine hit.
Food, cook in bulk, meal prep.
Get a gym membership or join a sport club, low key fitness and still a social outing.
There isn’t a straight answer, but whatever you choose, tailor it to you.
Remember you are the main character in your world, we are the NPCs.
Cleaning, don’t buy a lot of shit for your home. You don’t need it. The more shit you have the long it takes to clean. Does the home look empty? Yes, but that also cuts down on the time it takes to clean.
Cooking. I cook the majority of my meals during the weekend. Just don’t have the time/energy to cook during the week
I keep a to-do list and keep a pretty regular schedule so I know what day’s I’ll be going to the gym or running some errands or doing some chores or any combination of the above.
I’m in my 40s and live alone. I manage by…well, managing. You just don’t slip up. Find what works for you, and stick to it. I found that I enjoy working out in the mornings, but not in the evenings, so I adjust my schedule to be able to wake up at 5.50 and bike to the gym. I prep food two or three times per week, do laundry as needed, have a reasonable schedule for doing household tasks, set time aside to socialize, date, etc.
Ya gotta remember living alone is basically a modern day invention. It has never been economical to do so until the 1950s and marriage/relationship trends held strong until the mid 90s. Your lifestyle is unnatural and therefore difficult.
I am also a 30s male but I’ve just decided not to partake in some things. For example, I don’t really keep up with my friends but I go to our annual group events. Idk how people meet up for drinks every weekend.
low calorie dense foods and get a dog to walk every day. mow your own yard/garden work and generally just keep moving
Are you kidding me? They live alone. Their life can’t get any healthier
Discipline.
Also, you mentioned “staying active” and “having hobbies” and “a social life.”
Maybe don’t book yourself so tightly. Sit down and relax for a while.
A schedule is the best.
You can’t do everything by yourself. Working and cleaning/ home maintenance are always there. Gym, cooking, hobbies, and social activities are variable. Depends what you want to focus on.
Minimize everything.
Less cleaning, less shit everywhere
Create a schedule and stick with it
Figure out how to optimize some aspects of your life to free up time/maximize time.
Food:
I cook (at least for the main course/time consuming part) for 2-4 nights at a time when I cook.
I also have a lot of meals/recipes that are low on “time spent on prep/cooking”. Some of them take a while to *cook*, but don’t require much time from me actually spent in the kitchen – which is really the thing I’m trying to have less of.
Cleaning: Great to get in the habit of it as time-filler of sorts. Waiting a couple minutes for my cup of tea to be ready? Guess I’ll put away some laundry. Doesn’t totally replace “real” cleaning, but a few minutes here and there drastically reduces how much actual relaxation time has to go to cleaning. Also less clutter = faster/easier cleaning.
Staying active: One of the reasons I picked up an exercise bench and adjustable dumbbells. Far easier to fit working out into life when it’s right at my fingertips vs having to go somewhere. Also why I picked up running – hard to come up with an easier way of getting a bit of cardio in than popping on some shoes and going out the front door for a 2-3 mile loop.
Hobbies/social life – Scheduling some of them helps. I don’t mean avoid spontaneity, just that getting things on the calendar and actually following through with them vs being a couch potato is rarely something I regret at the end of the day. And having it “already planned/committed” is a good way to avoid that temptation to put it off for another day.
At 33 I work a job where I can get away with working out & showering on company time.
I do not need to clean as I do not make a mess.
I made a bunch of air fryer recipes with low prep time and no washing up.
My social life is all online, which I can also do at work.
I am also working on an online degree, which I do from work.
Then I just take all the overtime because I basically live there anyway.
>Living alone has proved to have its challenges, and over the past year especially, I’ve caught myself slipping into a mundane and routine lifestyle in which I’ve become less and less efficient at managing my life.
So…do you mean drinking alone?
Cause it sounds an awful lot like you mean drinking alone.
If that’s the case, I can help.
Part of it is that I used to have a dog. So my exercise was walking her. After she died, I started walking to work. It was roughly the same distance one way that I would walk her for our daily “long walk” (minimum 1.5 miles, max 2.5). When I cook, I try to clean immediately after I finish eating. Sometimes I have to wait until I get home or the next day. I combine my social life with at least one of my hobbies. I play Magic The Gathering (a collectible card game) and I have a local store I can play at. So I try to drop in at least once a week to be with people outside of my friend circle. Side note, I’m always walking to the various places I frequent as part of trying to stay healthy.
Another note for cooking. Cook in batches. Make something you can eat at work for two or three days. Make something different for dinner. Even if it’s just a sandwich.
29 dedicated to work pretty much
For home cleaning, I do the minimum and then have a cleaner come once a week and it costs me about 35 per week.
I wake up at 4 am, read my emails so I can prepare for the day. Go to the gym for 45-1hr, drink a protein shake. Go to work, eat subway for lunch consistently, go back to the gym for 45 mins-hr, protein shake, sleep.
Weekends I have the same wake-up/ gym routine, but I can eat any food I want, I also do online schooling on the weekends and churn out as much as I can. I also see if there’s any emails for my rentals/problems and if there are I try to figure out how to solve it. Send more emails. Sleep.
I don’t cook as I have a small kitchen, and don’t really want to cook for one because then I’d overeat. Subway is cheap and I get a wrap everyday so my meal costs are around 15 bucks with coffee and protein included in that.
Without the cleaning lady, I’d be toast.
By modding Reddit forums obviously!!
It doesn’t take that much time to get in shape. 150 minute/week (only 75, if you go HIIT). You don’t need much equipment either. Buy the limited number of things you need to workout at home and get your 150 minutes (driving to the gym about doubles the amount of time it takes to exercise. Workout at home.)
You can get a pretty good aerobic workout with exercise bands. They take up no space and cost about $20. Those and a pair of running shoes are all you need.