I (28F) just got out of a very serious monogamous 5 year relationship. My partner (28M) and I had a pretty vanilla sex life. Now that I’m single I want to explore my sexuality and be more adventurous. But I don’t know where to start. Are there certain exercise to improve flexibility and strength? How do I feel better in my own body? How to initiate a sexual relationship and feel safe doing so? Any general thoughts, advice, or resources? Thanks!!
3 comments
Main advice is to go slow andddd just bc something looks appealing in a porn doesn’t mean it will be in real life. Set boundaries for yourself. I know in the beginning of sexual awakening you set hard NOs and if you go too fast those hard NOs turn into soft NOs then next thing you know your being slapped in the face and called a whore..lol(not a bad thing if that’s what u like) but just be careful and be weary on who you trust
I’m sorry to hear about your break up, but it’s excellent that you’re getting back out there.
As for your first question, there are various things you can do to improve flexibility, yoga is the most common and easily accessible, though I’m personally more inclined towards martial arts. You might also consider kegal exercises- knowing how to tighten your pussy on a man’s cock will never be a wasted effort.
You ask as well about feeing better with your body, it’s up to you to know what it will take to feel good in how you look, but exercise can be helpful there as well.
Initiating sexual relationships is quite easy for a woman I think, dressing provocatively on a night out is enough to do it most times. But feeling safe is another story. I would say follow the general rule that if you’re feeling uncomfortable *at all* then that person isn’t the right one. You might have been out of the game, but don’t be tempted to think “oh he’s very forward, but maybe that’s just what people do these days”- nothing should make you feel uncomfortable.
Dating apps are another way to go. Safety wise, ask them to send a verification pic, make sure your first meet-up is somewhere public, and that at least one friend knows where you’re going, what he looks like, and his name (from his dating profile). It isn’t advisable to meet someone at their place the first time you’re meeting them irl.
Lastly, you might consider getting some sex toys. You’ve been fucking a vanilla partner for 5 years, it’s time to explore, as you’ve said. Buy some love eggs, vibrators, dildos, possibly butt plugs and explore. Consider what your fantasies are, explore porn and find out what makes you wet, and then build on that. Some things you will like, some you won’t, but that’s part of exploring your sexuality.
And finally, it’s important to have fun. It’s a new chapter in your life, that has a lot of excitement to it, so do try to remember to take it easy as well
This is how I feel almost exactly. I’m only 19 f but I just became single after more than a year and IDK what to do. I want to do more sexually as I feel like I really haven’t done anything but normal stuff.