i recently decided to stop using online dating apps for various reasons— i wanted to ask for advice for how to come off as available and confident for others?
when it came to setting up dates on an app it was easier for me to flirt or come off confident because i knew that the guy was at least somewhat interested since we matched. now just meeting guys organically whether at school or just in social situations, i’m having trouble doing this.
i feel like i have a lot of other friends who just so easily talk to guys in general, and it’s so easy for them to do that. i know that i’m a bit insecure about my appearance and often feel like a dud compared to my friends who are all i think much more attractive than me
tldr does anyone have more tips on confidence and going about the dating world outside the apps?
4 comments
>i know that i’m a bit insecure about my appearance and often feel like a dud compared to my friends who are all i think much more attractive than me
I think this is the root of your issues.
I think dating apps can be pretty brutal, depending on who you are. If you dont do a lot of IRL interacting with people, your skills in that area will lag.
If you’re online all the time whether its dating apps or gaming, you might start to figure out how to be an attractive version of yourself and its easier to interact. But when put in an IRL situation, your feel pressured and self conscious because you’re usually an avatar or a few pictures you curated yourself. Being online has made people a lot more anxious and insecure.
So basically, dont think too much about it. Just put yourself in situations where you talk to people IRL. As you do this, you’ll meet new people, make friends and generally sharpen your social skills. This ultimately translates to dating because the more comfortable you are IRL in terms of flirting etc., the higher your success rate will be and thus will build your confidence.
Hope that helped, I think you’ll be fine.
Don’t worry about be confident just be yourself. Guys will pick up on that.
It’s ok to be insecure, people care more about what you think of them than what they think of you. Just go into knowing you might flub stuff but it’s never as bad as you think.
just gotta be yourself. make sure you put on a smile, dont have a rbf, and engage in conversation.
Wish i could help you coz i have the exact same problem i am a guy and i find it so difficult while chatting with a girl offline as compared to Online! 😭