I’m a virgin and never even seen a dick irl. Whenever I talk to or sext with men here, men who are well aware of the fact that I’m a virgin, they always ask me where I want them to cum. The first couple of times it happened it mostly just made me confused, but most of all it made me wonder why in the world so many of them thought that was something that I had been thinking of and had made up my mind about. After a while I started to be more fascinated by this, until it actually made me kinda mad. It’s not the fact that they ask me the question that maddens me, but the fact that they all assume that I want their cum on or in me. So I’m curious as to why this is and if there’s a deeper meaning to all of this that I don’t fully understand. And feel free to ask follow up questions for clarification!
I’d also like to add that what I personally do or don’t prefer when I’ll eventually be in that situation is irrelevant here. I’m not saying I have anything against this, I’m just curious about the phenomenon and the apparent lack of critical thinking surrounding it.
28 comments
I don’t assume that and try to figure out a way, I don’t want it on me so it’s insanity to demand you want it you. Some girls like it, most don’t. But it’s happening, it will go somewhere
Because they did it with other girls and is asking your permission if you like it or not. Its not that deep. Some women like it some dont. I love it personally. As long as they are asking for consent i dont see the issue to be honest
Well if you are sexting men here, i dont think its unreasonable they they initially think you are interested in them sexually, which usually involves cum in or on you. And if you dont like the idea of it, that’s reasonable too
The asking is a late consent question in my mind. If you’re meeting irl and going to have sex, you’d want to know the other persons preference.
The whole “on” a woman thing I feel is a porn side affect. They’ve seen that happen so they want to do that. I read somewhere that some do it as a dominant thing too. For me (M) I have no interest in finishing “on” a woman. Just makes a mess to clean up.
Since your experience has been sexting I can see why they’d ask during things.
Not being funny here but… why *wouldn’t* you? If it’s in your eyes or in your hair that can be bad, if you can taste it that’s not always good, but is there something wrong with having it on your skin?
You do realize if you have sex, you will either be getting cum in you or on you? (Guess he could just turn away and cum on the bed?)
Look, part of this is curtesy. Not all women want a man to cum inside. Not all women want cum on their body.
Part of this is because many people find sex….sexy. And some women are aroused by the thought of a man cumming inside. And some are aroused by a man cumming on her.
Some women don’t care either way. Some women are disgusted by cum.
How does a man know what you want if he doesn’t ask?
Hi.
Here’s the low-down about sex. It’s gross. You’re getting bodily fluids on you that you’d normally consider disgusting. For example, I had a girl squirt on my pelvis whenever she felt the need. Alternatively, I’d cum on her face or chest if doing it insider her was out of the question.
You WILL do something that you’d otherwise not want to. It’s like an unwritten contract, but that’s not to say boundaries can’t be set. I’d be sure to let your partner know you DON’T want cum in your hair.
Cumming on her girl, in my opinion, comes from porn. We, as men, start watching as young as 13. The moment the balls drop, we become very curious. For reference, I started masturbating at that age. Anyway, thanks to porn, we just think it’s normal. There is also a primal element to it because it’s like, I came on you, you’re mine. Not in the controlling creep kind of way, but in a lover way. Am I even making sense anymore?
I hope that helps!
I mean it’s a texting sex fantasy. I’ve never seen the one that goes ‘Your pussy’s so good I can tell I’m about to bust so I pull out and run to the bathroom real quick so I can blow my load in the sink.’
My wife generally prefers for me cum on her rather than in her. When I cum inside of her, she’s going to have it dripping out of her for quite a while. It’s just one more thing that she has to deal with. She loves watching me cum and seeing how much I’ve ‘made for her.’ I enjoy the ‘marking my territory’ aspect of it. Clean up is easy, we just keep a stack of special towels by the bed.
you’re sexting here in reddit? and you’re a virgin? are you even in legal age? 💀💀
I think, like everyone else here, we’re a little confused here. 41 M by the way. If you have sex, more than likely, the man is going to cum. It’s got to go…. Some where. The polite thing is to ask first. I can’t even fathom how you’re construing this to be a negative thing.
Lack of critical thinking? That’s a bit harsh, and i think its an unnecessarily combative approach. I dont think you understand the instinctual drive to ejaculate inside someone. The coming on the outside thing is probably meant to be a sort of compromise with that drive to keep their partner more involved and is also probably taught some from porn. Its a fairly wild assumption to think this is really all that much about your preferences at all, though. Theyre not asking you “where you want it” with no subtext, theyre asking for encouragement and permission to cum in a way that keeps you involved because they want that to be the case. Also, plenty of other women are into this. I dont think this really revolves around you.
This is also a consent thing, which is polite. If youre offended by someone asking you for consent at all, I may suggest that youre not super ready for sex. A polite and firm “not on me or in me” is fine.
Also, sex is a body fluid festival no matter what you do. Would you be upset with him for not wanting your vaginal juces on him? Does that seem reasonable? Many people find these exchanges of fluids, gross as they may be, erotic and part of the bonding aspects of sex. I suspect a significant majority might prefer it.
What your post is really giving the impression of is fear and insecurity around your own inexperience. Both of which are fine. Id reccomend trying to get comfortable in your own skin and face your own discomfort before casting aspersions outwards. The second one wont make you friends but worse it wont help you overcome your discomfort and itll make it harder to enjoy yourself. Projecting doesnt help.
If you’re using a condom you won’t have those issues. But for anything else the cum has to go somewhere. And it’s pretty logistically complicated 😂 to not get it in or on your partner. So that is a conversation that needs to be had.
They want to know how open sexually you are. It turns men on to hear that a woman wants their semen. They’re probably yanking the crank during the conversation and hearing that you enjoy cum somewhere in or on your body gets them off.
Mobile, Have you given hand jobs or blow jobs? If yes, where do they release? On you, on the floor, in the closest napkin?
Its a sign of respect for a guy to ask where should he unload the pending explosion. You might be over thinking this thing. The guys that ask you if they can come over you are trying to be dirty, nasty, sexy pigs. Clearly that offends you. You may want to ignore them.
Because people are bad at discussing boundaries and interest about sex before they have sex. Open discussion about kinks, desires, hard stops should be discussed before sex every time. It would lead to far better sex but people are not used to it or scared to be an adult.
I did not read all of the responses, so I apologize if someone has already addressed this from this perspective.
So, in my experience, there are 4 options. Cum in the woman raw (without a condom).
Pull out raw (so as to try to avoid pregnancy) and cum on her or anywhere outside of her vagina.
Cum inside a condom inside the vagina.
Pull out, take the condom off, and cum on the woman.
Maybe some of this is derived from porn, but for the most part, I think it comes from trying to maximize the intensity of the experience and orgasm.
When I was in college with my girlfriend, we used the Pull out, take the condom off and cum on her strategy, because 1. We didn’t want to get pregnant and 2. She wanted to feel my cum on her skin. She enjoyed rubbing it all over her.
I enjoyed how much she liked it, which added to my pleasure. Clearly communicating what works for you and your partner before and during sex makes for better sex.
You realize that he is also going to have your bodily fluids on him. It is polite to ask. My girlfriend wants me to cum in her most of the time, she does complain sometimes about it leaking out over time. Sometimes we condoms if are she is ovulating or to spare the mess.
OP, I don’t think you have enough experience yet to be sexting with men like this. You don’t know what you’re comfortable with and you don’t know what your boundaries are. I’d take a step back.
Most women like having cum in or on them, and most men love to put their cum in or on a woman, so it’s pretty normal to assume. You don’t have to lean into it if you don’t like it, but it’s a very normal thing to ask, out of fantasy or for a practical reason during actual sex. I mean if you have sex with a man, there is a big chance to have to deal with cum at some point so it’s good to know what to do with it
As many people have said before, sex is messy, funny, contains lots of bodily fluids and smells, and often highlights the beautiful but imperfect parts of our bodies. I think you might be assuming all men have this fantasy about cumming on a woman. And while porn tends to reinforce this notion, most men are trying to figure out and respect where and how to handle an inevitable outcome. If you’re in the realm of sexting, fantasy, and role playing, that’s one thing, but most men who care about their partners are going to ask and not assume.
I mean condoms solve that problem so why not just nut in a condom? Boom
I asked my wife where she wants it the other day…she inside or on her boobs..had to make a split second decision…ended up in her belly button with me exclaiming..”I almost made it” LOL we had a great laugh.
Actually.. there’s a lot of critical thinking and I’m a woman. They’re thinking about the orgasm they’re hoping to have with you and where the cum goes is the moment they’re going to get that explosion.. so if you say.. “I want you to cum all over my tits” first of all it’s sexy because you want their orgasm and are excited for it, they can visualise in their head what they’ll be looking at as they orgasm with you, they can imagine the seductive look you’ll give them as they cum, and they’re getting your consent before finishing about if you’re ok having it on your body, and also gauging if you want it raw or with a condom. Asking these questions is part of the foreplay and is much sexier than saying “hi so when I orgasm would you prefer me to ejaculate into a condom or not?” or for them just finishing anywhere without asking in advance if it’s ok with you.
Believe it or not it was a lot trickier when people weren’t so upfront. 25 years ago when I started having sex you basically had no option but to meet people face to face on a night out and if you hooked up you had to wing it, or you embarked on a slow dating relationship straight away. There wasn’t safe guards like dating apps where you could talk to someone about your kinks and just stop talking to them if you felt unsafe and had the protection of remaining somewhat anonymous. You couldn’t talk to any hook up really about things you were comfortable with until you were in the act and ready to go because you generally met face to face on a night out and having a computer / phone between you for an hour is actually a safe and less embarrassing way of knowing you’re on the same page. Things like tinder have opened up a safer way to talk to potential hookups or like minded people for long/short term relationships that we didn’t have. Do people get to the point a bit quicker and probably risk sounding creepy? Definitely.. but is it better to talk through all the things you’re happy with BEFORE hooking up and having sex? absolutely.
If I having sex with someone, my general assumption is that mine is going into a condom and staying there forever.
But I probably will still ask. They might really like getting it on them, they might get off on tasting it.
I need to know before hand because asking as I’m cumming isn’t the best time. I need to know to take the condom off if they really want me to otherwise the condom stays on.
Tell them same place as last time. In their sock.
Well it’s either going to get in you or on you, and they are asking you where you would prefer it. If you don’t want it on or in your body, you can also tell them that. But they ask that, because men cum when having an orgasm and they just want to know where you want to receive that. It’s normal to assume that you tell them where you want it on your body (some people like it on specific places, some don’t care) some may not even like cum, although i would question if they are ready to have sex, because having sex with a male ends up with cum somewhere on you or near you anyway and it is not ‘dirty’ or something. Hope that helps
When ladies rich orgasm,then they want the cum on their pussy,some inside some outside ,I am 64 years old man every time I make love to younger woman that happens