I’m 23f and my whole life I’ve had everyone, people younger than me too, talk to me like I am incredibly naive and stupid and don’t know how to do anything and need my hand held.
I have no self esteem and I have social anxiety bad and all of this comes off as me being a “good kid.” People’s jaws drop when they find out I smoke weed.
I cry easily and I scream when im excited and all of it is so child-like but everyone else is allowed to act this way and it’s okay because it’s valid and they’re adults (even people younger than me get treated like a peer)
I hate how people perceive me and it effects my daily activities because I try to communicate and people just don’t get me at all and I can’t change there minds and I’m done trying to prove them wrong. I want to change how I perceive all of this.
I’ve tried to tell myself maybe they’re being nice or don’t know how to act but they call me a good kid and act like I shouldn’t know anything violent. It’s embarrassing
Can someone help me out?
3 comments
Read some books. Focus on yourself and learn some new skills or sharpen existing strengths.
Eventually you’ll be doing laps around everyone else and the respect will follow.
A lot of people have outdated ideas about weed, but I recommend saving it for the end of the day. It can get to the point where all people do is smoke and that’s fine and all, but you stop learning while you’re high. Not learning for too long can actually make you stupid when your peers keep making progress leaving you behind.
Maybe try puzzles or strategy games, sign up for a class or physical challenge.
Rock climbing and bouldering are great physical activities that help you combine problem solving with your body and mind working together to overcome fear and find novel solutions to “problems”. (Bouldering routes are called problems)
You’re lying to yourself if you think other people get to scream and cry like babies and not face consequences. Learn to control your emotions. Start by recognizing them, naming them, learning about yourself and why you feel an emotion.
In short, do hard things, do your homework, or face the pain of people not showing you respect. Life is about trust, building and earning peoples trust. Not wanting to prove yourself can be seen as arrogant. I know that can seem offensive but zoom out and see that everything is competitive and everyone is constantly proving themselves to everyone.
My advice, preserve your childlike (carefree) personality, be happy and do not worry about how people perceive you.
I understand that sometimes people don’t take you seriously, if someone talks to you like you’re a kid, double down on that. Have fun. But whenever you need to be serious, be sincerely serious.
If this hinders your job in any way or other aspects of your relationships like being taken seriously, a few things that may help are learning to communicate better, emotional maturity and taking responsibility.
Also stand up for yourself. It is as simple as deciding what your values are and not letting other people change them for you or pressure you into changing them.
Hey you remind me of my ex and thats meant as compliment. She struggles with the same issues as you paired with the added bonus of beeing naive from time to time. With issue I dont mean her/your personality but rather how people treat you.
Its really hard to get out of that perception without starting to be rude. You have to find your middle ground by standing your ground and show confidence. If they treat you like a child call them out on it.