So last night we had a company party with lots of drinking so everyone was having a pretty good time. It was brought to my attention that one of the new girls who started working here had an interest me and we ended up meeting at my place after and things got a little heated. We didn’t have sex but we made out and I pleasured her for a bit and nothing happened for me sexually from her. I’m usually really good at keeping romance out of my workplace but this sort of happened against my better judgement after all the drinking and I’m really nervous about how this affects work now. I’m not interested in pursuing anything with her romantically and I want to call her later and explain that we should keep things friendly/professional due to us working together. I’ve asked friends for advice and they sort of tell me to just play it cool and not bring it up at all, but I feel like I should be open about how I feel and communicate it as soon as I can. Does anyone have experience or thoughts on how I should handle this appropriately?
4 comments
Best thing to do is pretend like it didn’t happen.
No one likes to hear “hey I made a mistake getting involved with you” which is essentially what the message will come off as no matter what you say to her.
However if she bring it up to you, simply tell her that you don’t want to mix work and pleasure and you’d like to remain friendly acquaintances at work.
I don’t think it’s necessary to bring that up. It’s almost like when you’re too young and rush to tell the girl you barely know all your feelings for her, which most of the time ends up with the man making fun of himself. Girls like to enjoy one moment of the night too. Some are more open than others but just because you had a moment doesn’t mean it’s guaranteed she wants to repeat it.
“Hey can we chat about the other night? That was honestly out of character for me, I’m usually very careful about keeping my work relationships professional. I don’t mean to suggest you did anything wrong, and I’m sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable at all. It was fun but I’d like to be friends and hope I didn’t mislead you.”
Maybe something along those lines, depending on the specifics of the situation, how you actually feel etc. If she’s not someone you see or interact with regularly that might not even be necessary.
As a newer/younger employee she might be a lot more nervous than you about the potential consequences of a workplace fling so she might appreciate some reassurance there.
I think it was Confucius who once said “Don’t shit where you eat”