I work in low-key fast food place and I used to get along with this one coworker well. It got to the point where I opened up about being Jewish and ever since then they only joke about me being jewish, when they tell me jokes. At first I didn’t mind because I used to be a big people pleaser and I enabled them to make those jokes, but I’ve been moving away from people pleasing and I just dont want to hear them anymore.
The thing is I don’t know how to deal with this. They are a shift capitain and popular among the other workers, and I honestly like my job so far and I don’t want to ruin my relationship with the other coworkers or make them think that I’m weak for not being able to “take a joke”. I have taken the joke, multiple times.
I never fire back with jokes or try roasting them back, because English is my second language and I am not fully familiar with having to make jokes and such. I also try to ignore it, but I’m tired of it. Does anyone know how to deal with this situation? Should I speak up or just try to ignore it? Thanks.
5 comments
The big thing here is communication.
You may have “enabled” the jokes by just laughing them off, but if they are genuinely offensive to you. You have to pull them aside and say “please don’t make these jokes anymore”
They may be in jest with no ill-intent, they may not be. But you aren’t a mind reader, and neither are they. You absolutely should speak up.
I had a friend that wouldn’t stop making offensive jokes no matter what. Just make sure you know that, if you do make it clear 1 on 1 that you don’t want to receive these jokes any longer, to know that it isn’t yours to deal with anymore. Tell someone higher up, and keep pushing the card higher until it stops.
Don’t let it be a social issue. Make it an integral issue (as it should be honestly… like, cmon, in the workplace???)
“Hey, is there a reason you keep bringing up my Jewish heritage? I get that it started off as a joke, but it’s starting to get a bit weird.”
That should be enough to put a person without malevolent intentions on notice. If not, you may need to take action. Or if you can’t report them without jeopardizing your job, minimize your interactions and freeze them out until one of you leaves. I would personally not stay in a work environment where I was experiencing bigoted harassment unless I had no other options.
You just have to learn how to take a joke.
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