Like the title says, the other night my (23f) bf (25m) and I saw the movie Sound of Freedom, which is about sex trafficking for those who haven’t seen it. Tragic movie, incredibly well done and beautifully made. We both cried watching it.
Anyway, last night we went to have sex, per usual. We both enjoy rough sex, especially cnc, and one of our favorite things is roleplaying me being kidnapped by him. It’s something we do frequently and something we both enjoy.
We started going about things like we always do; him grabbing me and forcing me onto the bed, me pretending to struggle, etc. Then, he stopped me. I asked him what’s wrong and he said he just needed a minute. He wasn’t hard (he usually is as this point) so I gave him head then we started again.
He kept going soft when being forceful with me and eventually we stopped entirely. I asked him, again, if everything was okay and he said that after seeing the movie he just can’t handle being forceful with me, even if it’s just roleplay. I told him I understood and we ended up just having very vanilla sex. It was boring and I didn’t finish.
We debriefed afterwards and he explained that the movie changed how he feels and he doesn’t feel comfortable being rough with me anymore. Even just things like slapping and choking me. I asked him if he meant permanently or just for a bit and he said he didn’t know.
I don’t know what to do, the sex was so plain and not pleasurable for me at all. I cannot imagine this being my sex life from this point forward. However, I also respect his feelings and don’t want to force him to be rough if he doesn’t want to. I’m just really conflicted right now.
1 comment
Give him a little time, then have a talk in a non sexual situation.
Remind him that consensual nonconsent is not the same thing as abuse and rape. That you both enjoy rough sex, consensual nonconsent, etc – and that these are frankly critical to you for your sexual satisfaction.
Hopefully, he can work through these heavy feelings.