I hate being quiet, but I really have nothing productive to add to most conversations. Feel like I either just agree or disagree and I just don’t know what to ask after so many questions. I’d like to not be quiet, but I’m very much afraid of saying something stupid or offensive. Any way to get over that?
3 comments
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Being able to add something valuable to a question/conversation comes with experience on the topic. Is it possible you are just involved in conversations you don’t have alot of experience in?
Generally it is good that you are quiet and hesitant to respond. It means you choose your words wisely and think before you speak. People value that. They value the person that can take everyones opinions and thoughts in, and be the last person to speak. In that sense, you have the final word on the topic. Everyone likes to be heard.
More than half of conversation is listening. People appreciate a good listener, much more than someone who spews word vomit and never shuts up.
Overall, if you want be more extroverted in conversations, I would think of some topics that you can pre prepare that people would be interested in discussing.
a) knowing what to say comes with experience, and to talk about things requires knowing things. So go forth and learn things!
b) Not blabbing your mouth til you’re hoarse has the benefit of appearing smart, because people assume that you think a lot before you speak. Knowing lots of random things helps you here too, because people will listen to me even if I barely know what I’m talking about, because it sounds like it makes sense.
c) the world needs all sorts of different folks to make it spin, and we quiet people have their place. I’m often a person that folks come to when they want wordless or physical comfort, as well as a place where they can feel like themselves. I value this, because I’d rather help people feel comforted around me than engage in exhausting witty banter all day, yknow? It’s not bad to be quiet- if you don’t have much to say, then that’s ok.
d) the more you learn things, the more things you will begin to have thoughts about, and you’ll start seeing the greys between agreeing with and disagreeing with an opinion or position. That knowledge about the subtlety of topics will give you things to talk about, even if it’s surface level nonsense.