At first, I thought she was this independent woman that I imagined (she was working part-time while studying when I met her). Recently, I feel so trapped in her life. Everything revolves around her, literally. Normally, I don’t feel lazy because I USED to workout (benefit of working out). I’ve been active most of my life but now I feel so sluggish whenever I’m around her nowadays. She takes up most of my time. Like the whole day. Just to spend time together, we could be doing nothing (mostly), watching random movies, and basically any other stuff that will just throw away time.
My grades have dropped significantly too. Just because she wants to spend time. She’s a senior in college as well. She even gets mad or upset that I don’t go to her place as much as before, mainly because of studying and errands. Back then my loads in uni was just light so I try to spend most of it with her.
Now, she’s on a summer break from college so she’s just at their home town. We study in the same city but live far away from each other (around 100km). She lives down south and me up north. When she plans to go to her hometown every weekend from her dorm, I make sure that she doesn’t commute at all. I’d free up my time just to drive her for around 2 hours bc I wanna make sure she’s safe as every boyfriend should do. So that would take up around 4 hours of my time (back n forth) and a whole lot of gas involved. This is excluding the fact that I drive her around the city when we go out where we study too. I make sure that she doesn’t walk all the way back to her dorm. Now that I left my car at my hometown for 3 weeks, she wouldn’t even pick or drop me off to my school when she’s doing nothing at all. Bc its so expensive and takes time she said. So how about me? I feel like its so unfair that she wouldnt do the same to me.
Then, she doesn’t even let me hang out with my friends from hs. Unless, she comes along and their gfs. Eventually, I stopped hanging out with them all because my gf said so. I mean prior to this, I ranted to my gf that some of my friends were kinda getting greedy? I just told her that most of the time they wouldn’t bring money so I can shoulder the pill when going out, and feel so entitled to some of my things when they couldn’t even do the same for me, etc,. But I have a few close friends of mine from that group, whom I grew up with and known for a very long time. She always has a reason to not like them. Unlike for her, she always wants me to like what she wants. Whether its her friends, pet, hobby, all of which I don’t mind taking an interest bc its her thing. But for me, she doesn’t. She always tells me what to do. Literally everything, from my relationships with friends n fam, and lots of different things as well. But with her its a different story, for example, personally, I wouldn’t like my partner to wear super revealing clothes that you could already see her soul. My point is everything has an extent, like clothes. I support her with what she wears. I don’t prefer someone who covers up too much and reveal too much, just in the middle is fine as long as its appropriate to the event. She still wears revealing clothes despite numerous times of me opening up that topic.
When I met her, I’ve never seen her in revealing clothings. Everything changed when we were together. I clean their house too whenever I could. I’d be there and help clean their house. When she couldn’t even do most of the things I do for her. She couldn’t even reciprocate the things I do for her too. I used to manage everything well before I met her. Now it feels like everything mine is going in to shambles.
I used to managed my finances well, able to support all my hobbies, and so on and so forth. Now, the moment I get my allowance it would be put towards something her. Like gas for when I go to her, flowers and gifts when its our celebration for something. I don’t even go to the gym anymore. I can’t even fund my project car properly. Can’t buy new clothes and shoes too. Plus the time I’m giving to her. I believe when entering a relationship you should be able to look after yourself. With her, its the opposite, she needs me always. Whether its a simple task or a major one. I clean their house too. Also the time to study is gone, since she takes up most of it. When in the first place, she doesn’t like it when I take her time while she’s busy with uni. It feels so unfair, most of these days. I might even get thrown off my course unless I transfer uni.
It feels like she’s draining everything out of me. Until I don’t have something anymore. I feel so drained. I don’t know if I should continue this relationship anymore. I feel like she only likes me because my family is well off, the things I have, and the things I can do for her. I love her so much and she means the world to me bc she’s been through so much that I wanna take care of her most of the time. But lately, I feel like I haven’t given myself some love that I needed. What should I do?
What would you guys do if you were in my place? I need an advice.
Sorry if it confuses you guys, English is my third language.