What traps can your wife/girlfriend say that you should avoid at all cost? i.e. do you think I am getting fat?

25 comments

1. “Don’t you think my sister looks great in that dress?”

   “Ye…-no she…I mean she *does* but, you-but she doesn’t, like…”

   *runs away*

   Or the classic ‘Would you still love me if I became a worm?”

   No means you’re shallow and only care about how she looks (and being able to talk to her and her being an attractive woman and the same species as you) whereas yes means you think she might as well be a worm since it makes no difference. Only safe answer is “how would I know the worm was you?”

2. If I died, how long would it take you to replace me?

3. Who’s the sexiest actress. The only safe answer I found is to give the name of an actress that I tell her looks like her.

4. “Which one of my friends would you choose to remarry if I died before you…?”

   Hint: The correct answer is, “None. I could never remarry if I lost you. I never want anyone else and your memory would be enough for the rest of my life.”

   The correct answer is NOT immediately answering, “Oh, Vanessa for sure,” without hesitation.

5. Oh is that what we’re gonna do today? We’re gonna fight?

6. You either have to commit to tiptoeing the minefield or go rampaging through it; there’s no middle ground. Personally I hated having her say shit like that, so I just answered opposite of everything she wanted to hear until she asked me why I was being a dick.

7. “On your way home, stop and pick up rice.”

   Now, this doesn’t sound like a trap on its surface, but it is.

   There is an entire aisle devoted to the near countless versions of rice.

   It’s a trap.

8. Avoid?

   No, this is not the way.

   “Does this dress make me look fat?”

   “Hell yeah. Looks like shit. Don’t wear that.”

   Either she will value your honesty or she will stop asking. If it’s the latter, it’s still a win, but a little w win. If the first, that’s a WIN. Big W!

9. Any time they comment on another woman’s appearance. There’s really no good response.

   Like if my wife notices a woman wearing something slutty she’ll say it’s inappropriate or if she says a woman is attractive. If I agree I’m being a pig and checking them out. If I say “ew she’s gross” I’m being mean and obviously lying.

10. Not a big fan of traps. If they’re persistent with how often they ask such stuff, hit em back with either sarcasm, or what you wanted to say but in a humorous way, or redirect it back towards them.
    “Idk, do you think it makes you look fat?”

11. Learn to recognize a s**t test when it’s thrown your way — and, it’ll be thrown your way, as many women get their kicks & thrills off of giving the men in their lives a hard time. Be confident, and learn how to verbally think ‘out of the box,’ or think of some way to turn the tables on them. Or, make a joke out of it — a facetious remark of some sort. The first few times can be tough, very challenging, because men wonder why a woman would ever look for a reason to give her man a trick question where every answer is wrong. Leaving her is also a viable option, as well.

12. Just agree with them for 99 percent of the time. Only argue when their is money involved.

13. I just tell my gf she’s sexy af and slap her ass if she asks me that question

14. Look who woke up in a bad mood.

15. Do you think she is pretty? Have you ever seen this movie before with someone? Would you get remarried if I died? I’ll keep adding them as she asks me throughout the week

16. I’ve never been asked these hypotheticals, but if my wife asked if she was getting fat, I’d just ask what the scale says. We keep each other accountable and I’ve gained weight and she told me so I lost it again. Communication is key.

17. The best advice is that if you’re dating someone that does this kind of playing mind games intentionally is that you should find someone else.

18. Q: do you think she is prettier than me?
    A: no, you are much prettier. she is just younger and thinner.

19. Do you think my twin is hot?

20. Don’t avoid them. Fall into the trap as spectacularly as possible.

    She asks if she looks fat, you ask if she’s kidding.

    She asks who youd marry after she died, you name her hottest family member or her sister.

    Etc etc.

    Whatever gets her to stop asking those exhausting questions.

21. To any women in this thread right now, don’t do this. This is not grown up behavior. If you are intentionally asking your partner questions in order to get an answer from them that will likely provoke a fight, that is childish behavior. Whatever insecurities you need assuaging, discuss it with them like a grown up.

22. Woman here: asked my husband if he would still love me if I was a worm. His response? “Are you suggesting you’re *not* a worm?”

23. “If I was a worm, would you still love me”

24. “be vulnerable with me”

25. TBH none. I answer 100% honestly, always. My wife knows that if she’s asking she should be prepared to hear something she doesn’t like/ want to hear.