Did the length of the marriage impact that decision?

46 comments

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  4. I have children so i will keep my married name on legal documents, but I have double barrelled it for everyday use.

  6. Yes, I changed it back. The name didn’t really feel like “me” anymore after I woke up to how awful that relationship was. I lost myself for awhile, and reclaiming my name felt healing to me.

    ETA: Length of marriage was not a factor for me

  7. I did not change mine back because I want to keep the same last name as my kids. If we didn’t have kids together I would have changed it back.

  8. Divorced and remarried.

    I kept my ex-husband’s last name (We’ll call it Green) because it’s also my son’s last name. Dad Green and Son Green need to know that Mom Green is still part of their family.

    But then I met and fell in love with Mr. Blue. So I hyphenated. I’m Mrs. Green-Blue now. My son is still Son Green, because he’s Dad’s son, not Stepdad’s. (His choice)

    Edit: the length of the marriage had no input on my decision. If I didn’t have a kid, I would have changed my name back to my maiden name.

  9. If I had been married for less than 5 years, maybe. But when you have that name for 17, everything is under that name. Waaaaay too much hassle.

  10. Yes I changed back for two reasons. My married name was didn’t roll off the tongue. It sounded like grunting. I never liked it. Plus, my name is closer to the beginning of the alphabet.

  11. Yes. No kids, so I feel it’s an easy choice for me. We were only married for a year – but that doesn’t matter to me. I wanted my name back ASAP.

  12. Yes because my mom kept telling him we might get back together… I was no contact with him because of emotional abuse and I changed my name to send a clear enough message. It’s all up to the individual.

  13. I changed my name when I got married and I kept it after divorce. The marriage wasn’t that long, so the lenght doesn’t have impact. The reason is that I never liked my last name before and I was very happy for the new name. It’s such relief not to feel bad when I have to intruduce myself with my full name. It wasn’t insulting name or anything, it just never suited me I guess, I never liked it, never felt like connected to it… I can’t explain. I just never liked the old name… And in my mind my current name is not like connected to my ex husband, it’s just the name I like better, that suits me better.

  15. Absolutely. I had my lawyer do it with the paperwork. That was like the first thing I asked her to do. Lol. I couldn’t get my name back fast enough. I happened to remarry a wonderful man and I love having his name. Totally worth the switches.

  16. I had no intention of changing it back but I just recently did. We were married 18 yrs have two kids together. He turned into a drug addict after we split and I live in a small town and wanted no association to him anymore.

  17. We were married thirty years. The longest I had any last name. And the same as my kids. I didn’t change it back.

  18. I changed mine back after 8 years. I had moved my maiden name as part of my middle name so I could still use it for my career which made going back a little easier. I am a little bummed my kid and I don’t have the same last name but it hasn’t been an issue with schools or anything since blended families are so common. I also just preferred my original last name over my ex last name.

  19. Divorced and remarried. Changed it back to my maiden name and kept it that way. We didn’t have kids and I liked my maiden name better, his family pressured me into taking his name in the first place. It’s probably the only part of my name that feels like it fits.

  20. I did not change it back, but I changed again to my new spouse’s last name when I later remarried.

    I didn’t see any point in going through the hassle of changing it at the time of the divorce when I didn’t need to. I’d been using that name for around 8 years at that point, and I didn’t feel like there was any real value in me taking the trouble to go back to my maiden name.

    And yes, my ex was a little salty about it, but that’s not my problem and I didn’t care.

  21. I changed my name when I got married. I didn’t change it back when I got divorced. I never liked my maiden name, and am not close with that side of the family. I also have 2 kids in grade school, and it seemed easier to leave it as is. My ex husband didn’t have an issue with it, so I kept it.

  23. Yes, because I changed my name to continue trying to convince myself that I was committed to the relationship. Once I accepted I was gay less than a year into the marriage (11 years dating) there was no question I’d change it back… was very resistant to move past changing anything but my social security card and ID thankfully. Just need to schedule those appointments!

  24. I changed it and I changed it back

    I changed it when I got married because that was what women did in the mid-80’s. Only radical women didn’t change their names.

    I changed it back when we divorced because I had no interest in having any tie to that marriage at all.

    Then I got married and changed it again.

  25. No. I got divorced in 2020 so the only way to change my name was to send the social security office my things and I didn’t want to risk it. I could still do it now I suppose but I don’t really care anymore. Socially I’m known by my maiden name and every one I know purposely mispronounces my actual last name now and I think it’s funny.

  26. Yes. I didn’t have children and I didn’t care for the last name anyway.

    If my now-husband and I were to divorce though, I would keep the name because it’s my kids’ last name. Plus it’s a cool name.

  27. Nope, I kept the last name. I want it to match my son’s and I actually like the last name more than my maiden name.

  29. I changed it back. Length of marriage and having kids did not impact my decision. I was no longer married to him and didn’t want his name, and someday my kids were going to grow up and live their own lives so I didn’t see the need to keep it because of them.

  31. Married for 7 years, had 3 kids. I kept my married name bc it’s my kids’ name.

    That name felt more like mine than my step dad’s name.

  32. No kids. Took my name back.

    Then got my doctorate. Dr. “Maiden Name” felt so, so good.

  33. After I got divorced I kept the name. I waited until I got married again to change it. It’s such a hassle.

  34. I haven’t yet but I plan too. I don’t want my maiden name either as I’ve had nothing to do with the man that belongs to. So I’ve decided that I’m taking my grandparents surname. My grandad was one of 3 brothers who all only had daughters. So it feels right

  37. I did not (at first) because my ex husband didn’t want me to keep his name so I kept it out of spite. Lol He told me to go back to my maiden name and I actually planned too, if he had never said anything he would have gotten his wish.

  38. Yes, pretty much as soon as I could. I never felt like being Mrs Marriedname really fit me – like it was a pair of shoes that just rubbed in the wrong place. Plus I was still going by my maiden name professionally (and hadn’t changed it on my passport either as I was too cheap to do so, which arguably came in handy down the line), so it wasn’t as huge a change as it might have been. It’s been four years since the divorce now and stuff does still occasionally pop up in my married name like a weird version of Whac-a-Mole, and then I have to go change it (which is a process of varying degrees of difficulty), but I feel like I’m more myself now I’ve gone back to the name I used for the first 27 years of my life. Ironically, I hated my maiden name as a young adult and couldn’t wait to get rid of it through marriage, ended up marrying a man with a relatively normal name and then once we split up couldn’t wait to change it back 😂

    We were married for four years, together for 11. No kids, but I do wonder if the circumstances of the divorce (he cheated) played into it, as I had the overwhelming urge to cut myself off from every bit of my old life and the name was a massive part of that, whereas if it had just not worked out I might not have been as ruthless.

  41. No.

    Mostly to match my kids, it’s easier when traveling to have us all match.

    Plus it’s how I’m known professionally.

  42. Divorced and remarried. I was married for 25 years to my first husband, literally all of my adult life. When I remarried, I told now-husband I didn’t want to change my name – too much hassle, it was my identity, etc. – although I did hyphenate it socially.

    Then, a year later, my now-husband went through cancer treatment (successfully, he’s in remission now), and it hit me just how much I NEEDED and WANTED to fully be his wife and let go of whatever nonsense I was hanging on to because I love this man with every fiber I have. So I changed it. Pain in the ass? Yes. Worth it? Every single minute of every day.

  43. I actually got divorced last year after 8 years.

    I legally shortened my first name, as I never went by the full one, and got a new last name not related to anyone at all.

  44. Yes I changed mine back. We were married less than 3 years and didn’t have kids so there was no reason to keep that name.

  45. I’m up in the air, going through divorce now, after 3 years. I finally, like, a couple months ago, got the last of my stuff changed over into married name. So I really don’t want to do it again. At the same time, I don’t want to keep the name of the cheater I married either.

  46. I changed it back. I guess I just didn’t want my ex’s last name anymore. If I get married again, I will be keeping my maiden name.

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