we’ve been together for 4 years. Essentially I dont see our relationship working out in the long run.
I tried breaking up twice before but he says he doesn’t care and that we can talk through any of our issues. and that our past mistakes mean nothing now in the present. basically he talked me into staying both times. But now I’m through with it.
so my main question is, How can I really break up with him and make him understand it’s over and he can’t talk me into it again?
i know i’m part of the issue because i should find the courage in me to not listen to my savior complex. i want to “fix” him and our relationship. but I can’t do it, and I’ve just been thinking about it for a while now
Do I block him on everything?
tl;dr I want to break up with long term bf, but he probably won’t “accept” that we’re over. what should i say??
9 comments
Stop letting him keep u there. Be firm with him and then go no contact. Ur too young for this kinda stuff
I’m glad that you realized you can’t fix him. You can’t fix anyone honestly. Your gut is telling you to end it, so follow your gut. Tell him that you have made the decision that you don’t want to be in the relationship anymore, and he can’t convince your or guilt you to stay anymore. Tell him you’re done and if he keeps trying to make you stay then you should block him everywhere
Just break up with him say it’s done and no amount of talking will change your mind. Sometimes you have to put yourself first. Block him if you have to.
It’s not a debate. Text him and block him. Despite what that iconic song says you can text message breakup especially when he’s said no before. Tip: block him on all socials directly before you text and then don’t wait for a response.
Text him: We’re done, I’m not talking to you about this anymore.
Then block him.
It’s not your job to make this ok for him. He has people for that, if he doesn’t he might want to reevaluate his life
Ask older people for stories on their friends from highschool who couldn’t get rid of their loser bf/gf.
I know some real doozy depressing stories of people’s entire life being ruined because they couldn’t walk away from a bad guy. Those stories would stiffen anyone’s resolve….
You let him talk you into staying. That’s something you’re allowing. Absolutely nothing will change until you can grow a spine.
I’m usually the dumpie and I had to dump my last ex boyfriend and he’s technically the first I’ve ever dumped. It was scary and upsetting, but I really needed to leave him. I couldn’t fix him, I couldn’t stop him from hurting me, couldn’t stop his addictions and I found out he’s been cheating on me. It took a full month for me to come up with a plan, a safe plan without any hassle.
I would’ve have liked to have done it in person, but it wouldn’t have been safe in my situation, I texted him instead “… the relationship isn’t working, it’s over. Please do not contact me.” After I picked up all my stuff from our flat without him there. Honestly, you cannot negotiate with some people like him and you don’t know how they’re going to act out. I blocked him on everything I could find of him after all that was done. Unfortunately for me, I was getting threats, not only me, but my family and my close friend was getting threats too for weeks and we had to get the police involved.
So, if you live with him or something, make sure all your stuff is retrieved on the day you announce the relationship is over. Maybe word the text better than I did with my ex. Make sure its very clear that you two are “over” and block him. Block him on everything. I hope you’re safe.
You do it because this isn’t about past mistakes; you are not happy now and do not want a future with him.