(30M) with (31F) What am I dealing with in my relationship?

I have been in a relationship with her coming up on 2 years and I kind of called things off. Throughout the relationship she would get mad at me every few weeks over things I said and did, I would explain myself and she would tell me that isn’t what I meant or that isn’t why I did that. I would spend hours explaining the same thing over and over and continued to be told I’m wrong and I would always go back to apologize to her. During arguments she would mention things like I should go ruin someone else’s life, how could I be so rude when she treats me so well, I do nothing for her, threatening to leave me “I’m not going to put up with this anymore” or “do you think I’m going to stick around when you keep treating me like this” and many different variations of that. She would continue telling me how rude I am for hours on end, then on the other hand she tells me when I’m upset I need to sit her down and talk to her calmly but she has never done that to me. Even when things are going well she tells me how bad I treat her, especially after if I made a slight joke about something she said or did, when I just thought it was a funny observation, I would end up telling her it was just a joke and I wasn’t serious. I have also been told that she doesn’t see us getting married or having kids, even though I told her multiple times I want those things she tells me “deep down I know you don’t want it”. I have asked her if that is how you feel then why are you with me and I never really got an answer, just basic things like “I love you and see a future with you” and I sit there like uhh okay… then she continues talking about something else like it never happen.

The most recent argument we had, I was in a mood. She asked me “are you going to the gym” and I responded “no is that an issue” of course she expressed that it was a rude comment and unnecessary and I agreed with her saying “ya you’re right, it was unnecessary. I’m sorry” and then she spent the next 4 hours telling me how rude I am and how poorly I treat her and that I don’t understand anything. I understand that it was rude which is why I apologized but was it really necessary to be told how awful I am for hours… The next day she acted like nothing was wrong, I even took her out for dinner because I promised I would earlier in the week. When the dinner came she said it seems like you don’t want to be here and I said no not really but I promised would so I’m doing it. She asked me what was wrong, so I explained that I was sassy with her and she explained why she didn’t like it and I agreed with her, acknowledge it and apologized and yet she spent hours telling me how terrible I am. Her response was “I just wanted to know what was wrong” and she tried explaining why she did what she did and I cut her off saying I don’t need to hear your excuses, telling me how bad I am for hours isn’t wondering what is wrong. I told her she always gets mad at me for small things, tells me I do nothing right and why is there a double standard. When she did something I didn’t like the previous week I spoke to her and explained what I didn’t like and she apologized and I let it go because she says “when someone does something wrong just apologize and bury the hatchet” and yet I’m not afforded the same opportunity…

I feel like I never do anything right and now I feel like I made a mistake breaking things off.

Just some things she has said to me when angry:

you will never find anyone who treats you as good as I do

that isn’t what happened

you are always so rude to me

you need to think before you speak

you live in your own bubble

you think you never do anything wrong

you don’t seem to understand what I’m telling you

there are no excuses for your behaviour

tl;dr: It seems like I’m being told I’m doing everything wrong and no matter what I’m to blame. All my jokes and just general self is rude and that I just don’t understand anything she is trying to get across to me, even when I say I do understand. Also being told I’m wrong about my opinions, recollections of events, and being told what I actually want