I used to have loads of friends and was out every weekend. I had a lot of female attention. Up until the age of 20 when I got depressed for a while. I’m now in my 30s and my life is a lot quieter. I don’t get invited out any more really albeit I do have a wife and old friends I rarely see. At work though I feel a bit cast aside by others. There’s people I’m friendly to but I’m often teased I think as I don’t really bring much banter to work and I like to keep to myself. I feel annoyed at myself for not being more social at work/lacking personality around certain people whilst also not really wanting to be too close with anyone at work. My confidence isn’t what it was and I’m a lot more quiet so perhaps that’s why. Anyone else relate?
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you speak my words..I used to be popular in my 20s but probably my fault because I stopped going out to clubs and pubs and stopped drinking for over a year recently and now in my 30s im still single but have my own place. I still have 1 mate that would ask me out now and again and part of me wants to but the other part is like no stay in
Yes I can relate. I was a social butterfly in my 20s. Around covid, started to really focus on life goals (I was 28 at the time) and really started to catch up. I wasted way too much energy on ‘living it up’ (no regrets) but I wanted to give myself and my future stability that same amount of energy and effort.
2 years passed, and I suddenly felt like a different person. Noticed other people drifted from me, from each other, people got closer to different people, etc. and it was much harder to make new friends. I could meet new people, but the spark of… idk.. making a substational relationship wasn’t there anymore. Nowadays when I see people, I know I’ll never see them again.. partly cause… I kinda just stopped caring.
Sometimes I pause in life and reflect, and it does feel weird. But I remember that I’m growing up into a different person. Who knows, maybe I’ll be different again later on. I just know right now, I’m pretty at peace with the way things are, even though they’re dramatically different from “how it used to be”. I’m living life day by day peacefully with my gf and I continue to work on goals!
Yeah, there some things that sound like negatives, like for me too, my “confidence” maybe seems lower and I’m more quiet. But I also realize what I care about in life has changed dramatically. I don’t really find joy in making random new friendships etc etc, so in that perspective did my confidence go down? Or did I just stop caring about some things and moved on? I could still small talk my way into things if I really really really really wanted to.
I’ve basically went from being an outcast to then having a lot of friends then went back to closing myself off again and now I guess I’ve been in the process of working my way back. Honestly most of it has to do with me cutting people off and retreating back to isolation.
Yeah was popular in early school years even through to grade 12
Did change schools once. Even at uni made friends etc.
Never really hung on to the school stuff as everyone goes very very different ways
Have never felt more alienated or outcast now ever at 24 making friends past school is almost impossible, but don’t give up.