For reference my kinks are pretty intense nothing harming anybody but just odd/gross to many people. What is the best strategy to act like I can’t tell my partner what they are so that they are always asking or to make it seem like they are no big deal so when they here then it won’t be as big of a deal. Just not sure the best way to bring these things to a new partner.
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I’m in a similar boat, I have one particular kink that, while it doesn’t involve violence or anything gross, is pretty taboo and it introduces a pretty intense power dynamic.
I decided that for now I’ll enjoy my sex life as it is, while slowly introducing elements of said kink to her. If she keeps receiveing them well I’ll eventually tell her about it, otherwise I’ll just keep it for myself.
I would advise against just telling her, keep in mind that something that makes sense to you could bother her, and even lead to the relationship failing.
Obviously depends on the kink but sometimes you just ask. You’re intimate with this person over months or years. They’re not gonna run away. Worst possibility is they choose not to indulge in them.