If a female friend asked you to be her sperm donor to be a single mom — what would your answer be?

27 comments

1. What the hell kind of friendships are y’all having nowadays?! No, thanks.

2. Hell no

3. Nah

4. Unless she wanted to be with me and I was also single, I couldn’t do it.

   I don’t think I could avoid feeling some sort of attachment to the child, even if I was legally and financially in the clear.

   I’d have to be involved in his or her life at least.

5. No.

6. No fucking way lol

7. No, couldnt have a child of mine out there that i have no contact with

8. No. I’d be uncomfortable knowing s child of mind was out there without me

9. No fucking way. Someone, someday would come at me for money. Or something. I just know it

10. Potentially fine but I would want to talk to some lawyers to make sure ‘helping out a friend’ doesn’t turn into ‘paternal obligation’

11. No.

    I can’t be a father without being a dad.

12. Definitely no. Despite written agreements and contracts through lawyers, you run the risk of being financially responsible for the child.

13. NO !

    There are so many things that would get tangled in that situation, not worth it

14. No. Too many cases of the state turning around and slapping the sperm donor with child support.

15. As much as I’d be flattered that a female friend would want to give birth to my child, I don’t think I could accept her raising the child by herself as I’d want to be part of the life of any child of mine, so I’d ask her to consider being involved with me as a normal couple raising the child as mom and dad. We’d obviously need to have feelings for each other beyond just a friendship.

16. Fast pass. DNA causes financial responsibility

17. I am a 38F and I was asked about egg donation from a male friend for one of their friends in my late 20s (same sex couple). I am child free by choice and my friend knew this. They would pay 100% of all my expenses, including loss wages from taking time off for the procedure.

    I wrestled with the idea. On one side, I am a organ donor and a regular blood donor. Donating my eggs that I didn’t plan to use seemed logical.

    What stopped me was the life my eggs could create. Like I said, I am child free by choice. And if the child wanted a relationship with me, I would feel awful saying “go back to your parents; you were just a donation.” It doesn’t matter what the laws say in my state. There is a human life who is now looking for their bio mom. I just can’t get past telling some innocent soul that I don’t want them around.

    So I decided, if I was going to donate eggs, I would need to have a close relationship to the parents. For example, if my brother was in a same sex relationship and he wanted my egg with his partner’s sperm. I would already have an inherent relationship to the kid beyond the donation. It’s different than giving an egg to a person you barely or didn’t know.

18. No chance.

    One, every child deserves to be wanted by both parents, to have both parents actively engaged in their lives and for a reasonable chance to grow up in a loving family.

    Second, I don’t wish to be on the hook both financially and emotionally for a child I would have little interaction with.

    Third, there are obligations that could make you the custodial guardian even if you never wanted it. She could be imprisoned or die, leaving you obligated to raise a child that you’re a stranger to.

19. If you ever con a man into this, even with a iron clad document written by a lawyer you hired and notorized by an official.

    A piece of shit Judge can still come in and force the donors paycheck for child support.

    Absolutely fuck no.

20. No way. I couldn’t imagine my kid growing up without both a mom and a dad. Each offers so much.

21. It happened to a very good friend of mine. He did this for a friend of his who is in a same sex marriage. They broke up, and she was having financial trouble being single, and he is now paying support because he is the biological father.

22. No, and I’ll be honest it’s mostly because I don’t think purposefully putting a newborn child into a single parent household is all that great an idea.

23. Nope.

    You never know when you’re gonna find yourself on the hook for something. Unless there was a way to make sure any potential right and obligation is definitely cut, I wouldn’t consider it.

24. Fuck no.

    Single parenting isn’t easy, and it more than likely will fuck up the kid. To volunteer a child to a life that is scientifically proven to be harder, and more likely to fail is a no go from me. That’s not even factoring in that I WANT to be a father.

    I’d provide her the research, tell her why I’d say no, and I’d offer to help her find a partner before letting her go at it alone. Better for her, better for the kid, and hopefully better for the potential actual rather.

25. No. Grew up without a father, don’t wish this on anyone.

26. No. Hell no. Hell fucking no. I’m not abandoning my kid. Just the thought of the kid thinking “My dad didn’t want to be around,” breaks my heart. No.

27. “really wants kids” – great argument for intentionally bringing a child into this world who has to grow up without two parents. Idiotic, selfish and harmful idea that I would not support at all.