A few months ago I lacked VERY BASIC social skills . Used to forget you shouldn’t talk too loudly , say negative things , say unfunny jokes , etc . Literally the A,B,Cs of social interaction.
Now , I filter a lot and am able to talk without immediately getting ousted . I want to step up , from not annoying as the very basic , how can I make people like me or atleast want to talk to me .
I heard my friend tell me “you should make them feel good about themselves” . What other point can you add to this assuming I know nothing .
2 comments
I’m so proud of you!
What I do is act excited to see people when we meet up. Not over the top, just smile and greet them by name when you see them. Ask them how their day’s going. You don’t actually need to try to make people like you. Just be genuinely kind and open. Smile, help out, work on being less selfish(this is one of my vices for sure).
Do your best to be aware of people’s body language as well as the subtle things they’e conveying in the conversation. Eventually you’ll get better at adapting to people’s vibes. I’d say that’s pretty important. Just to be aware of how people are feeling during conversations and more aware of what their needs are. It gets easier with practice, but go ahead and start working on that awareness.
If a conversation is lagging, you can ask questions to start it up again. Listen to people when they talk about themselves and ask them questions about the things they tell you. Ask if people have a pet. People freaking love to talk to you about their pets and there’s tons of questions you can ask about the pet. That’s several conversations’ worth of content right there.
Having an interesting clothing style seems to help too. I started dressing gothy recently and people are so friendly with me now. I don’t even understand. I’m walking through the goodwill all decked out in scaly black clothes and 80 year old women will just walk up and start talking to me. I genuinely didn’t expect that. But yeah, if you wear something that’s interesting, people will notice you and often feel more of a connection. I know a woman who has a purse shaped like a chicken. She said she loves using this purse because wherever she goes, strangers will walk up and comment on her chicken purse.
Well first of all CONGRATS on your improvements and your self awareness. Life is a journey! I’ve found myself making different improvements all along the way, so we’re all works in progress.
As far as stepping up to the next level, I’d suggest looking at what types of traits you bring, and focusing on a few that people find to be appealing. Here’s an article I wrote on that topic:
###[Do YOU Have Good Friendship Traits?](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPRForYourSocialLife/comments/13jp5gv/pick_me_do_you_have_good_friendship_traits/)