We are a long time het couple. We have a good sex life but my girlfriend is very much NOT the stereotypical woman in bed. She doesn’t have very much patience. If I come on to her things go as you would expect, but she has a high sex drive and more often than not she comes on to me during the evening. She mostly goes straight for my cock with her hands and as soon as I’m aroused typically rides me till she comes a couple of times. After that she goes straight to sleep. It probably sounds better than it is. The reality is that it’s all very predictable.
Quite often she comes onto me in this way and I don’t get hard. She somehow then makes it feel like it’s my fault. I’ve tried telling her that I need more than that, I need a bit of seduction and creativity, but she just doesn’t seem to get it. We live in a society where men are generally supposed to be ready to go at any moment … how can I convince her that she needs to put in a bit more effort?
6 comments
Check out Vanessa Marin! She and her husband have a great IG account and podcast and lots of guides (some free, some not) about initiation, foreplay, etc. They’re also great about giving scripts for how to bring up different topics.
1. Have a conversation with her about how you’d like to take things slower at the beginning of sex to get both you of more aroused
2. Maybe make a game out of it? Like set a timer for 10 minutes and you can only kiss, dry hump, and touch each other over clothing until the alarm goes off
Honestly, I’d just use the search & read up some of the threads with people giving advice to women who are in the same situation as you with their male partners.
Much of it will still apply, and unfortunately your thread is far less likely to receive the same level of engagement
Just be explicit and say what kind of foreplay you are actually looking for. If you want more kissing, more touching, more nonsexual affection thenjust let her know. She might have no idea what to actually do
Go slow. Be concise. Be patient.
The fact that she uses up her sexual desire with orgasm makes me thinks she’s a hopeless case. What would usually help is for her to receive an orgasm promptly, then go for a round two, during which the first orgasm will have rendered her patient. But not with this woman.
All I can think of is to tie her to a piece of furniture or a frame of some sort. Then perform foreplay on her. Not as good as having foreplay performed on you, but you’re prolonging the session. Eventually, literally unleash her to ride you. It may also happen that by introducing a new category of sex practices into the relationship, you may succeed in making her receptive to changing her style. It seems that she doesn’t have self control, so you’ll have to control her.