My wife and I have been married three years. We have two kids together. Lately she’s been hanging out with her ex boyfriend a lot and even going to his house. She claims they are just friends and nothing is happening. I’ve asked her not to be alone in his house with him but she refuses. I’ve suggested she meet him at a public place. Now we are constantly in a fight. At this moment she is in the other room on the phone with him even when I’ve asked her to come to bed. I’m having severe anxiety over this. Everyone I talk to says she should stop but our couples therapist is on her side. Am I the crazy one and is it time to just let go?
9 comments
Was she always friends with him when you were dating and after you got married?
I’m someone that’s had close male friends but if my husband had that much of a problem over it’s not something I’d fight over
Get either a new couples therapist or a new wife.
Let go. She don’t respect your boundaries.
She will use the word insecure, your not.
Tell her to go sleep at his place because you’re don’t want her in your bed.
You can say “I don’t want to be married to someone who hangs out alone with her ex boyfriend at his house” that’s perfectly fair and reasonable.. but it’s not a rule for her, it’s a rule for YOU.
So when she ignores your request and does it anyway you can say “thanks for showing me who you are. Please pack your things”.
You can’t beg someone to be a good partner to you, but you *can* walk away from someone who isn’t.
Sorry, your wife has checked out of your marriage. Behaving as if single and back with her old love is more important to her than your feelings.
Have a serious uninterrupted talk and lay out your boundaries. If she refuses or dismisses your issues then change therapists—your current one is simply overmatched. If she doesn’t respect that concern, then get counseling for yourself because you will need a lot of clarity about your future with or without her. Worst thing you can do is be passive.
She’s constantly choosing him over you. That doesn’t bode well for your marriage. Sorry.
Something is not right with this story with the therapist.
The therapist isn’t getting all the correct info, or WE aren’t getting all the correct info. This is not something a therapist would say given the info provided.