My wife wants me to start sex with her without asking and also wants to me to show some kind of dominance.
My problem is: how do i approach her without asking and just starting, even if we are just watching tv or chilling at home. Because she tells me “if you are horny, try to initate sex and see if I want it too”.
shall i just approach her and kiss her neck and touch her?
Please help me out.
38 comments
Sounds like a trap! Just kidding. This definitely can be tricky for us guys that suck at social cues… Id take it back to how you were when you first started dating. Just subtle touching. Kisses. If you’re watching TV try to just get into a make-out session and see where it goes from there. It sounds like she might want more aggressive dom type actions too. Massage her ass. When you’re doing something together graze her breasts. Or be more direct and slip your hand in the front of her pants while hugging her from behind.
The main reason I joked it could be a trap is that you want to have the right timing. Don’t try it when she’s in the middle of something that is frustrating her or where she obviously is not in a sexy time state of mind. Like I said. That can be tough!
I’m gonna be a little harsh simply because I’m a dom. If she’s telling you these things then put your big boy pants on and do what you want with her. She’s offering herself to you anytime but you gotta take it or show her that you want her with o physical touch.
Foreplay brotha…kiss a lot, you’d be surprised how many don’t kiss as much when you first started dating. Dominance comes with confidence…whisper the things you wanna do to her. Be a gentleman…her pleasure before yours. Remember a gentleman is just a wolf waiting to devour…think with that mindset…devour her. 👍🏽
I’ve never asked for sex a day in my life. I shared that before and people went wild. Asking for sex sounds weird to me. You can flirt with her throughout the day, say things like:
I can’t wait to hold you
I’ve been thinking all day of how I’m going to kiss all over you
I want you to taste me
You tasted so good last night, I want more
You can also be demanding like:
Come put it in your mouth
Bend over
Touch on her and ask her when she’s aroused who told her to get wet?
Pull her close to you and start to slide it in only giving her a little till she’s begging for it all
These are just some small examples that I can think of from my experiences
Ultimate green light here buddy. If your sitting next to her just chillin, just start kissing her neck and gently stroking her pussy, a lot of eye contact too. But, do not say a word.
When I say this to my husband I’m wanting him to come up behind me, tell me he has to have me, spin me around facing him as he kisses me passionately while his hands are all over my ass, back, running through my hair. Then turn me sideways and rub my pussy over my pants with one hand and ass with the other. Walk me down the hall to our bedroom.
The Wifey loves being taken “against her will”. This is called “CNC /Consensual non-consensual”.
I go into her bedroom while she is asleep, pull her panties down, and put my penis inside of her holes. Gently at first, finishing up very rough. She has the most orgasms doing things this way.
Typically, after you ask for sex, what do you do?
This is definitely reasonable. I don’t think most women, especially someone you’re married too want initiating to be “asking”… it should be a natural progression though, which can be done without talking honestly… It’s all in touch or a look that gets it going. Being able to read her cues also helps…
Just kiss her neck and work your way down, also when she’s washing dishes or cooking just get behind her, you can either grind against her cheeks first or just slide her pants down,
While I’ve never done this plenty of women expressed that I could do this and they wouldn’t have minded that happening
Well I’ve read some of your other comments, you know what, when you feel like it, just grab her ass, without words, start to touch her, no questions asked, if she tells you to stop, do it, if she does not, continue, what she wants is probably less words about it, just get physical in the moment, don’t be as gentle as you probably are always, and ask questions after it’s finished to understand if wants some more of this or less of that next time!
I want my husband to grab me, take me to the bedroom and take me as he wants. Use dominant language such as “I want…..” or demand what you want such as “bend over the bed, face upwards and take what I give you”.
Do you really need to say anything? You can just start with kissing and let it escalate, If she doesn’t want to I think she will show it really fast.
Don’t ask tell her you want to have sex. That Tajes care of both issues your showing dominance and taking the burden of her asking. If you can do it early in the evening or even in the morning . As it gets later and your relaxing watching tv etc sex takes a back seat. You can even get home and give her instructions take a shower shave put on a dress with no underwear etc. it will probably rev her up since you are gently showing interest and dominance. If you have kids it gets difficult but definitely make time for it. I was married for 16 years and by 10 pm I was cooked.
Do next time she’s doing something in the kitchen or laundry room or anywhere with her back to you, walk up behind her, grab her sides firmly and start kissing her neck. If she responds in any other way than “not now” then keep going. DON’T say a word. Just keep upping the ante. Fondling her breasts, pulling her hair to pull back her face to yours so you can kiss her, slipping your hand down her pants in the front. DON’T talk. See how far it goes. And if she gives you any pushback, kiss the back of her neck, grab her ass once and walk away. And leave her there hot and bothered. Repeat this once or twice and she’ll eventually let one of these things go all the way.
Dude the next time she is watching tv. Just walk over to her and try to eat her out. Don’t ask. Just do it. And from there it will work it’s self out.
If we’re already in bed, my wife wants and expects me to just take her. She doesn’t want me to ask her if she wants sex. What she wants me to do is to just “have my way with her.” She loves it when I just pull her legs apart and start eating her pussy. (I can count on one hand the number of times that she has asked me to stop.) From there, she will do whatever I want her to do without asking. If I want her to suck my dick, I just put it in front of her face. If I want doggy-style, I tap her legs so she knows what I want to do to her. She loves to be desired and for her man to be out of control with desire for her.
Your wife wants some variation of that. It is up to you to figure out what that means in your relationship. It won’t be easy but it will be fun if you explore with an open mind. Pay close attention to how she reacts to different things. Talk to her afterwards about what she liked, what could have been better, and what she didn’t like. Ask her to offer up some play ideas. This is an opportunity to really find some new sexy magic between the two of you.
You sound a lot like my husband. He needs specific instructions and his fear of rejection (unfounded might I add) means he never initiates. On the rare occasion he does show interest, he’s very soft in his approach and it makes me cringe.
If she’s anything like me, I think what your wife is getting at is that she wants you to show her that you desire her. That you can’t keep your hands off her. That could be coming up behind her and grabbing her ass/waist while you kiss her neck. Tell her that you want her. Spin her around, pick her up and put her on the counter top. It sounds like she wants you to be assertive and is tired of you being meek perhaps. Just try asserting a little power over her. If you’re taller than her, the old doorframe lean is a great one.
You can build up the confidence for this. I understand your hesitation. Start with smaller gestures by squeezing her but and let your hands slide over her body. Discover it like a play.
As you are building up this confidence you will get to know what or why she likes and before you know you’ll be whipping it out on the dinner table telling her to come get dessert.
I don’t think I ever asked for sex with words. I always initiate physical contact and escalate from there.
Youve gotta figure out what she likes. But my take is she wants to be WANTED. She wants to feel your urgency.
When she gets up to go to the bathroom or get a drink, watch her, when she comes back, grab her and say “Take your pants off — Watching you walk a way made me horny and now you’re gonna make me cum”
You’ve got to judge how dominant she wants. I had a super submissive grad school FWB. We could be sitting watching a movie and i could say “It’s time to be a hole” and push her to her knees. She’d be soaked in seconds. That’s obviously not for everyone and it’s a level of objectification many would find offensive — but it is what she, in particular wanted.
A key is afterwards be loving and caring so she remembers she’s your loving wife too, not just your fuck toy. But for those moments, she wants to be your fuck toy.
Massage. You can oil her up, do a proper massage to her back, legs and eventually move to her buttocks. Then you can proceed with this. This worked for me and my wife to ‘spice up’ the bedroom
The consent issue can be real, as can the rejection issue. My wife wants the same, but will quite often not be in the headspace for it.
We started with jewlery, a small silver necklace, that she wears when this is her mood. It’s non-verbal consent to initiate without asking.
The dominance bit is up to your own creativity.
Some people get tired of always being the one to initiate sex. It might seem like it’s no big deal to you but small problems can become larger problems later. Just relax and you will be able to become an expert.
Try not to worry about things because that can become a problem as far as sex goes. You can become a confident sex expert and your wife will be amazed. There are all kinds of fun things to do to make sex more fun and that includes your partner initiating sex occasionally.
My dream wife
Your initiation can range from rubbing her pussy while your sitting on the couch to grabbing her from behind the second she bends over to pick something up.
Whatever you choose, always be sure to stop when she doesn’t want to.
Every man’s dream. You’re golden. I have the same privilege. What I do are some of the following:
1. Depending on what she’s doing, like folding clothes etc. I just come from behind and start kissing and undressing.
2. While we are sleeping, I start touching her or go downtown and boom.
3. When she’s taking a shower, I just step in and start touching and kissing her.
4. I also sometimes start talking to her dirty from a distance before I approach her, by that time she’s wet as can be.
As a matter of fact gonna do something right now lol.
Body language can communicate a lot. Also, being playful. and sharing intimate physical space (kisses, touching skin, etc) can be good things for initiating foreplay & sex.
Yes. Be sexy. “Do you want sex” is NOT sexy. Touching, kissing, massaginf, nibbling, unbuttoning. Were you never a horny teenager?
She is probably a responsive sex type rather than spontaneous. So “do you want to have sex” doesn’t give any interest. It’s just a question.
Flirting
Smiling lovingly into her eyes
Saying you want her
Taking your time when leaning in for a kiss, like even stopping for a little hesitation then leaning in
Take a deep in breath at the smell of her
Touching the inside of her wrist, caressing a little
Key is slow buildup of anticipation and small steps to get to kissing and even later foreplay…
Just dont say shit. Lay next to here and get touchy.. ive never asked to have sex… ever. Really a weird approach.. kinda takes the spice out it
Well what I do is, grab her while standing in the kitchen or the bathroom, or wherever really, starts grabbing her ass, rubbing her tits, molesting her whole body, working my way down her pants.
Start removing her clothes like you’re undressing a doll. Move her boby where it works for you, but still listen to her body language to know she’s enjoying it. Don’t waste too much time on foreplay in these moments. Only enough to make her wet and give you access. Do what you will from there.
My girl is like that too. It has been easy for me though. Our rel, in and out of bedroom, has been healthy. She likes spooning and wears short-short to sleep. Most nights she will just let me caress her body esp her round ‘peach.’ Often I will end up taking off her shorts or pull them to the side and just enter. She still acts surprised when I do that. I will then pin her down and pronebone (her fav) till she cums. Never once did she say no except it’s that time of the month…well in that case she doesn’t wear the shorts.
Sounds like she wants foreplay outside the bedroom. I like when my boyfriend compliments me sexually and tells me how good I look from the beginning of the day. Or looks at me a certain way, rubs my hair or grabs my waist and tells me how sexy I am in pants. Or even comes and hugs me and gives me light kisses on the neck and rubs my body and then let’s go. It builds up tension all day or even a few hours and I’m usually running behind him after.
Don’t use direct words like “want to have sex?” Or “are you in the mood?”, use your hands and body and press against her and tell her how sexy she is and how good she smells and dirty talk her outside the bed.
Foreplay doesn’t start with kissing or clothes off. Foreplay starts well before that. Put your hand on her leg while watching TV. Give her a kiss that lasts a little longer than normal when she gets home from work. Grab her butt in a playful way when she walks by. Cook dinner together. Hug her from behind unexpectedly. Text her you love her in the middle of the day.
Showing small pieces of affection throughout your day sets the table for making a move to have sex later in the day.
I’m mid 30s and not much of a sexual adventurist. My last gf didn’t make it very clear and I resisted urges to the point we were both masturbating alone because the urges didn’t overlap. So then I just went for it when I wanted it, and it worked out. She’s sleeping in bed? Going for it. She’s cooking? Going for it. Results were much better than resisting, because even if the timing is off, that’s what she wants, to be desired.
• catch her off guard. say she’s washing dishes or cooking come up behind her and start kissing her on her neck. Grab her breasts, or even take them out, rub and pinch her nipples while pressing your hard dick onto her from the back. Do this for a little bit then cover her breasts back up and walk away to tease her. Once she’s finished cooking… take that shit.
• or while kissing her neck, shoulders, etc from back lift up her dress or unbutton her pants and slide your hands down her underwear and rub her clit while pressing your dick onto her ass from the back. Take your hand out and button her back up and you can either lick your fingers or put those finger in her mouth while your dick is still on her ass. Then walk away or take it
• While you’re watching tv, start with stroking her hair, then, depending on how you’re sitting say she’s laying on your chest, while you’re stroking grab some hair at the nape of her head. Not too hard but hard enough and do it briefly just a few seconds. Keep watching tv tho. She may look up at you, but disregard or look at her then back at the tv without saying anything .
• Then move down her back and stroke her back lightly, lift her shirt up to expose her back or all the way up so her breasts are out and laying on your stomach. Keep stroking her back.
• You can start dry humping at this point
• Then when you’re ready, grab her by the nape again and grab her ass or the ass crack and pussy grab that us women LOVE and lift/scoot her up to where you’re face to face and kiss and continue foreplay from there
I had to say this to my boyfriend too, I wanna be taken not asked. Genuinely I just wanted him to start rubbing my thigh and get close to my pussy like when you first have sex with someone and you just test the waters. Just start foreplay that way and you’ll see her arch her back or lean into it and then you finger her and the rest is history