What is marriage

4 comments

1. I am happily married, and although I haven’t been married as long as you have, I’m pretty confident that marriage is not “supposed” to be loveless.

2. 39 years last Friday. Very happy and took her on an Anniversary excursion last weekend.

   “Being in love” and “Falling in Love”, is a  poetic understanding of what love is, in a good & happy marrisge.  Love is a verb, it is actions and words, expressed to the other person. Words without corresponding actions, are at the least vacuous and in the worst, manipulative lies. Actions, without corresponding words, are incomplete.

   These actions & words, expressed hourly, day after day, year after year, and on special occasions, is what creates and maintains the emotional response or state, that we call “Being in love” and “Falling in love”. No human can maintain any emotional state continuously, whether it is “Being in love”  anger, hurt or pleasure.

   Love is being in the moment, actively expressing in words and deeds. It is also not repeatedly doing certain actions or saying hurtful things . If I was to tell my wife that I love her, but then hit her or cheat on her; then my actions would demonstrate my words are lies.

   Lasting love is the repeated and consistent care for the other, to strengthen the bond between them.

3. 14 years of hell. We irritate the fuck out of eachother. Never cheated on her or wanted to. I’ve thought about leaving her. She has too. It’s easier. But I’m glad I stuck around. She is the light of my life and my biggest cheerleader. Crazy as fuck but love her.

   Here’s what’s up. Family is chosen for you. Friends come and go. Your partner is the person you chose to be your family and is and will be your best friend forever. Life tests you. People test you. And at the worst times. Know who is on your side. People see you have something, they will tear it down for you. Give them a bag of dicks to eat. Don’t let them.

   Gotta have the downs with the ups. Climb out of the downs with each other. If she has to pull you, let her. You got this man.

4. In marriage happiness is not something that just happens. You and your husband have to work at it. We vow to love our spouse “for better or for worse”. This lets us know that married couples will experience difficult seasons. These seasons can deepen and grow our love for each other. My husband and I have been married 32 years now. We’ve had defeats and triumphs. There were times we questioned our love, but we never gave up on each other. Do things together that you both enjoy. Try new things and count your blessings.
   No one ever said being married is easy. With time you both will change, but you don’t stop loving, instead you love in different ways and in deeper depths. Communicate and try to work things out. I’m sure you’re relying too much on your feelings. Don’t stop communicating and get professional help if needed