Started a new job recently – about 2 months in. Recently got some feedback from my new manager on my performance and it wasn’t very positive. She called out quite a few things that I’ve been doing wrong.
Which is all fine – I’ve been in many different corporate environments before and am no stranger to constructive criticism, especially after I’ve started a new role and am still in the learning phase.
But something about the way it was worded was off putting. It was all very negative – mistakes I made, things I didn’t do, things I should’ve done better etc. she then put everything in an email and sent it over to me.
I don’t know if I’m overreacting but it really put me in a negative headspace because I’ve never had feedback given to me this way before. In my previous roles I’ve gotten feedback on things I could do better, for sure, but it was always worded in a way to help me get better, not just a list of mistakes I made. A lot of the stuff I got criticized for, I hadn’t even gotten proper training on but it seemed like I was just expected to know.
Not to mention I’m already being thrown a lot of projects and assignments without a lot of actual guidance on how to do them. I can figure it out eventually, I know that – but now I’m worried that I’ll be critiqued for things I may have missed that I wasn’t trained for properly.
Honestly feeling a bit stressed about how this new role is starting. It doesn’t help that I’ve been generally in a very bad headspace the past year or so, and I tend to easily spiral into panic attacks, catastrophizing and feeling overwhelming dread and anxiety.
I’ve been talking to my old boss and he said they’d love to have me back. Only issue is that I’d have to take a bit of a pay cut – I’d be leaving around $500/month on the table if I were to go back.
Thoughts? Should I just ride it out? I know going back to my old job would be significantly better for my mental health but I also feel like I’m giving up and kind of a failure if I regress backwards. Not to mention the money I’m giving up as well.
4 comments
First thing is to determine if the criticism information was accurate. If you really are not performing in certain areas like you need, then accept the criticism and improve yourself. If it’s just prepping to terminate you because you two clash, then yeah, move back to your old job.
The problem is that over your working life, you are going to work for MANY different managers. Most will be not be properly trained and do things like email criticism. A few will be good managers and build you up through personal interactions and helpful critiques of negative actions. You can’t quit every bad manager unless their actions are really making the job toxic and there’s no way out from under them.
Were you burnt out at your previous job before starting your new job? I’m currently burnt out at my current job and have been underperforming. I also think I have adult ADHD. I spoke to my boss recently and he was surprisingly supportive and wants to help me improve. Have you spoken to your boss about how they can help you improve? I’m not sure going back to your old job would help if you were already in your current headspace.
Business owner/senior management tech dude here: Sending an itemized list of every fuckup an employee has ever made isn’t how I’ve ever managed and elevated my team(s). I’ve also never knowingly assigned tasks to people without ensuring they understand all of the requirements.
It sounds like there’s a leadership problem at your company, and those rarely go away once institutionalized. I’d suggest you try to find something better if it is available.
Have you chatted with your manger in person?
Two things come to mind:
1) manager is documenting mistakes etc for dismal/termination support
2)manager is trying to be helpful but their delivery sucks
Maybe at your next one on one meeting you can go over the feedback. You are new to the organization so this is a good opportunity to show you can adapt and accept the feedback