Can’t insert properly/ painful (no pleasure)
So me and my recently married wife were both virgins.( typical mainstream indian family) When we first tried to have sex, I couldn’t find the hole. Then when I did , with my finger, it was small and no more than 1 finger got in. I tried a lot of foreplay and then too.. when the time comes for the deed, she tenses up. ( she was informed by her other friends that it is really painful.. so she is worried) Also, I couldn’t insert.
After that we bought lubricant jelly and that seems to work a little, she reports some pain but there is no pleasure. I know the clit is the pleasure organ of girls.. but does the insertion cause no pleasure at all and all pain for everyone ??
Due to the pain, she is not ready for insertion but all the other things.. I am losing interest in insertion too because she won’t be enjoying it anyway
Please suggest something so we could start having sex like normal people.
2 comments
The first time can be pretty painful even more when you are scared from it and tense up.
Get her relaxed and not only wet, don’t force stuff and don’t tell her it’s time for her deeds.
There is nothing wrong to ask her to help you guiding you inside.
Try out different positions to find one in which she can relax.
It will get a lot better when you have sex more times.
So the majority of girls’ first time (or even the first few) hurts.
Foreplay, relaxation, and lube are going to be the best for it.
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If you are both willing to go slower what you can do:
-Get into bed with a “no penetration just fun” mentality.
-Do some clit stimulation and talk with her about what feels good.
-If she is up for it use some lubrication and use ONE finger. Now some women like this not all do. I’m going to describe this as if she is on her back but you can do this in any position. With her on her back insert your finger palm up. GENTLY curl your finger so that you touch the top you will find a “rough” spot. That is the G spot. You can then use her direction on what feels good to pleasure her.
-Work up. It doesn’t have to be all one night but you can slowly work from 1 finger to 2 or more.
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Some just want it done and over with which if that’s the case you can try this:
-Still get into bed as relaxed as possible
-Lots of foreplay and lube.
-Work with your fingers still slightly and when she is ready use lot of lube and insert.
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Either way, it usually hurts for most women. Some prefer a steady movement once you are in others would like you to wait for the pain to dull a bit. For me it was about the 3rd/4th time I had sex where it was pleasurable BUT I did not have a patient/kind man and I had no foreplay at all.
Make sure to have water/snacks for after. She may need a pad as well as she may bleed (especially with method 2). Don’t forget birth control options if you don’t want a kid right now.