I am a F48 and have been married to my husband M51 for over 20 years! I go above and beyond for everyone for their ier birthdays and fathers days etc!
All I ask for is once in a wolf my husband to do something romantic for me rather dinner, flowers a weekend get away! I go all out cakes and balloons and nice gifts for our child and him and my dad and anyone within our family. I heard all these couples at work and in our friend groups talk about how sweet they get flowers and handbags and balloons and get aways and all this!
I plan my own birthday dinner and buy my own cake and my own gift! Not once has be done anything for my birthday or Mother’s Day with out me or my ex friend helping plan it! It isn’t about the money I just want to feel special like he placed enough thought into it! When I tell him anything I get wt “I am not that way!” Or it’s not my style I don’t know how to plan anything special. I am so over it that I am ready to say a few choice words and not do crap for anyone
3 comments
Dont then . What you were doing for others was only in expectation that they will return the favor . You were never truly doing anything for “them”
So you’ve just been putting up with this for 20 years? Who here is even going to come close to helping you?
Seems like a difference in love languages.
>When I tell him anything I get wt “I am not that way!” Or it’s not my style I don’t know how to plan anything special.
What is special for one might be not special to another. Maybe he doesn’t see things as special? You could help him by saying stuff like “it would be nice if you/we could do [insert a specific thing you would find romantic]”
>All I ask for is once in a wolf my husband to do something romantic for me rather dinner, flowers a weekend get away!
Have you told him what you would find romantic? When someone looks up for romantic stuff, they are told: dinner, flowers, getaway, so they might not be aware that other things could be seen as romantic (like doing your chores when you are having a hard day at work)
>I plan my own birthday dinner and buy my own cake and my own gift! Not once has be done anything for my birthday or Mother’s Day with out me or my ex friend helping plan it!
Seems like you want him to plan your birthday and mothers day. Ask him to plan it. He won’t do it unless asked, because it’s a thing you were always doing, thus they might assume that it is how you want it to be.