Hello, first timer in this community. Girlfriend and I are set for a future that leads us to the end of the road, a couple of fogies in rocking chairs on the porch type of deal.
We never fight, it’s always a communicative conversation if there is a need to address anything. We support each other and have our future goals aligned, both of us willing to compromise when needed and strive to help the other achieve when not needed.
We’re not facing any issues as of right now, but long term relationships don’t come with a guide, and we both agree it’s important to look into methods of preservation to avoid common issues in life long partners. The largest hurdle with long term is desire, in which predictability and security can smother, though they are essential components to a stable relationship. It’s a paradox in theory!
What has worked for you to keep the cup of longing filled over the years?
What are things you wish you had known now that you’re down the line? Those that have researched this topic, what are some resources you’d recommend? Ideally those with a professional background in the matter
Tl:Dr – looking for ways to keep desire alive for a life long partner, as well as any other anecdotes towards healthy relationships (beyond obvious shit like communication is key)
3 comments
Take this with a grain of salt because I’m no expert but three important things I’ve learned is
1. Never stop courting your partner:
Like make sure you try your best to make sure they feel appreciated and wanted in the same way you did when you first started dating. Like so many people’s relationships grow cold and resentful because it feels like the other person isn’t trying anymore.
2. Communication, the more the better. Like obviously don’t keep secrets but also make sure if something is bothering you or you feel like something be said ,no matter how small make sure you say it before it becomes a bigger issue. Also be willing to hear whatever it is your partner says. Dosent mean you have to like or agree with what they say but make sure they feel heard and try to handle what the say with grace.
3. Try to not make issue, problems, and disagreements into you vs your partner but instead into you and your partner vs the problem.
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Never stop talking to eachother. Don’t make assumptions that will make you decide to not communicate/talk. Trust in the process of talking.