I went out to a bar last night and I ended up meeting these two women. They were friends. Let’s say one is Anna and the other is Jamie. Jamie was kinda teasing me and dancing on me sometimes so I thought she was interested but she ended up getting with another guy. Anyways, Anna was with a guy but she told me that she wasn’t going to go home with him because she didn’t like his attitude and she felt like he just wanted sex.
Jamie kinda pushed me to go after Anna. Anna ended up talking to a guy who she apparently hooked up with before and so I left the bar. However, Anna texted me and asked me what I was doing. I told her I was leaving but I’d come back if she wanted to talk. So I came back.
She asked me if I wanted to go over to her place. I said yes. While we were there she talked a lot about life and her job. She told me that I could touch her so I touched her butt and breasts but I wasn’t sure if she wanted me to go any further. I hadn’t really hooked up in a while.
She eventually went to sleep and I did too. The next morning she rushed out of bed to get to work. She gave me a long hug and told me we should spend more time together. I sent her a text when I left saying I had a good time and that we should spend some time together soon. It’s been hours and she hasn’t replied.
My friend James who has a lot of experience with women told me she was probably hoping to sleep with me last night. I feel like maybe I missed my opportunity. But she was talking a lot about how she didn’t want to hook up with people and that she wanted something serious when we were at the bar. She did let me touch her though. I don’t know if I ruined this whole thing.
34 comments
Don’t worry too much, it’s really not that big of a deal. Just tell her that you weren’t sure of what to do, she’ll prob will understand
Rule of thumb is if a women invites you over, she wants sex.
In today’s dating environment it’s always better to take it easy.. unless she pretty much flat out says it … assume the answer is no especially the first time meeting with them.
Having blue balls is better than a sex offender record .
My man, you had it right, she gave so many clear indications she was *not* interested in sex and I cannot believe your friend with “lots of experience” + these comments missed that
She is at work bro, dw about a fast response. There potential for a missed opportunity but it’s a good lesson learned. Anyways. Sounds to me like it’s not over yet too
I think you probably played it as well as it could have been played. She told you it was ok to touch her and you did. Had she have wanted more she’d have escalated, but she didn’t signal and you didn’t get obnoxious and get whiny or angry and push. That’s exactly how to conduct yourself in said situation.
The ball is in her court. Don’t get whiny and blow up her phone. If that’s all she wanted, that was all she wanted. If she wants more, you’ll hear from her. If not, don’t overthink and move on.
Don’t woe is me or anything in text. Ask her mid-week if she’d like to go out. Worst case she ghosts or says no. But it’s not like you’re out anything.
Probably, but regardless, you should ask her out again. Plus, it’s a good look that you didn’t push it. Now you can approach with more confidence.
Hey my guy, my brother, my friend. This is why nice guys finish last. Just saying. Yeah you missed an opportunity. Don’t listen to what they SAY, listen to what they DO.
So, you wanted to be just like the guy who just wanted sex? The guy she didn’t like? I understand there are some mixed signals but if a person states that they are not interested in casual sex, take their word for it! She might have gone along with it, in some sort of self destructive manner, but do you want to be that guy? The one she wakes up the next morning feeling gross about and used?
Nah dude. She probably would have been more into it if she really wanted to sleep with you. The opportunity isn’t always there the first night. Sometimes it’s sometime in the future.
It does help to ask clarifying questions when you see that she is asking you to touch her. Such as is that all you want? Or do you want to go further?
I read this as she liked you and found you interest enough to want to explore something deeper. Patience young grasshopper.
You behaved like a gentleman. WELL DONE. Hat’s off to you, sir.
Sure, you might have pushed, and scored a one night stand. But you could just as well have pushed harder than she wanted, and messed up a nice evening. That’s impossible for us to judge from over here.
But if she enjoyed being with you, you’ll get a text back later. You might score a proper date, and maybe even a partner.
You played well not pushing it mate. Don’t worry about the non message it’s been hours only. Hang in there and see if she’s up for a date because that sounds like where she’s wanting to go. Good luck!
You should have ghosted her. The mystery kills them.
Honestly, you did the best you could with the info you had. You could always ask her if she wants to go further when you all are in the moment if you’re unsure for next time. In any case, I don’t see any missed opportunity here. She probably hasn’t responded back because she’s at work.
Dont overthink it, and dont come on to strong. She will get back to you when she gets back to you. You sent a text. Dont push any further, you will come off as needy.
As far as the missed opportunity goes, you have nothing to feel bad about. Assuming your story is true, you acted above board and everyone seems to be happy with how the night went.
Yes and no. To me her telling you to touch her was probably a bit of testing the waters. When you did touch her did things get hit and steamy? If yes then you missed out. If no then you didn’t miss out. But hey if she is keen to hang out again there is always another chance
honestly.. i love that youre asking this question.. i think you did the right thing.. she already had expressed disinterest in hooking up (atleast with that guy.) its Always better to be safe than sorry! she gave you a long hug the morning after?? shes probably grateful you didnt try anything especially until she said something. youre okay man
Don’t lose a winner like her boy😂😂😂
The fact you would have hooked up with either. Is wierd. Have some standards man
If you actually like her. Then see where it goes and hook up. But don’t just hook up with her cuz she’s the only girl you could get
When she said touch her, she ment rubbing her clit and eating her pussy man
Slow down tiger.
She’s at work.
Go slowly.
If she wanted to, then she will make that opportunity available to you again. It may work out better for you that you didn’t. Don’t look at it as a missed opportunity
She probs did wanna hook up. Don’t double text. If she wants to sleep w you she will respond to your og text. Just make sure that if she does reach out, plan the next time to link up, complete the job, and make her happy
Definitely blew it when you could’ve gotten a blow job at least. She tells you to touch her,,dude
DO NOT APOLOGIZE for what you did or didn’t do, you did nothing wrong and she could be hoping for more, but being anxious/or a bit desperate is a big turnoff. Be cool, just wait and see how things develop. Everyone likes confidence and insecurity/anxiety is a turnoff. Relax.
Last paragraph, they all say that shit, to not come off like a hoe… if she invited you to the house and allowed you to feel her up, you missed the cue! Also, a few hours went by, youre coming off hella needy… dont text her anymore, she’ll get back with you, if she hasnt responded by friday, text her again, “what are you getting into this weekend?”
I think you did fine overall!
1. Yes, I DO think sex was very much on the table.
2. She clearly enjoyed what she did receive, and that was a man that wasn’t pushy, whiny, or to abrupt.
Several times potential hookups turned into only cuddling/kissing and sleep, instead of sex. Every girl that’s happened with I eventually got to have sex with multiple times anyways.
Just don’t nag her while she’s at work and I think it’s in the bag.
She was probably trying to sleep w you last night but diverted her attention to 2 other men while you were just… there. I don’t think you’re wrong in not having made a move or for assuming she didn’t wanna sleep with you, because lmfao she has a funny way of showing she does!!! As for her late response, she’s at work, it’s not a big deal, give her time. If anything,,, I’d go as far as saying that you dodged a bullet
If you would have reciprocated and told her she could rub your balls and stroke your cock she probably would have blowed you.
One thing for sure, a girl who isn’t interested in you will never let a guy sleep over at her place. We usually just kick them out so I think she was feeling you, don’t stress it
As a female, I think you did everything right! It’s not clear to me though, are you interested in her or just want to have sex with her? If it comes down to it that she was just looking for sex but you actually like her, well then… do you really want her now?
If she let you touch her, hopefully you through out that you think she’s really hot or something. But other than that, you played it right in my eyes!
I think you handled it well based on what she told you. And she felt safe enough to sleep in same bed. Mornings getting ready for work suck and sometimes depending on the job they may not be able to look at phone. Wait and see. I agree with those saying dontblow her phone.