End up falling into the same trap, and looking for advice.
Every now and again, I’ll make a mistake at work and treat it like the end of the world. Nothing that can’t be undone or fixed, mind you; just errors that are human in nature.
However, even though I take the steps needed to rectify the situation, I continue to beat myself up and treat it like it’s the end of the world. I’ll get feedback saying that things have been resolved, but the remorse and guilt makes a mountain out of a molehill.
Any advice as how to perceive things at face value and move on with my life?
4 comments
Same friend! I’ve gotten a bit better at this over time, but I am extremely hypersensitive to criticism in my workplace and tend to fixate on every misstep.
The things that have helped me personally: Getting a job that I am overall very good at and well respected. I know that is much easier said than done, it’s a lot of trial and error and of course luck to find a job that is a good fit for you. The work environment itself is key though. If you find you’re in an environment where you are criticized often and unfairly, find another job asap and in the meantime just go in, do your work, and leave. Don’t burn bridges, but also don’t give your loyalty to a corporation that clearly doesn’t give a shit about you.
Beyond that, just remember that you are an entire person outside of the job and your value is not defined by your workplace. At the end of the day you’re there to provide a service and in return keep the lights on and keep food on the table. That’s it. If you mess up at work the vast majority of people you meet will never have any idea and even in the workplace people are most likely too busy worried about themselves to be focusing on your performance. My country (America) is very work focused and we’re trained to think of much of our worth being tied to our workplace. That’s a toxic mindset that will only hurt you in the long run. Do your job to the best of your ability, take feedback with grace, and if you’re being unfairly singled out find another job. The rest of it, the workplace politics etc? It’s all background noise.
It sounds like a question for a therapist to me. Because the real question isn’t, how do you stop beating yourself up. The real question is, why do you think you don’t deserve to make mistakes. You are holding yourself accountable, and you are learning from the mistakes. But you don’t allow yourself to move forward from it, and there’s an internal reason why. Usually, it’s childhood.
Oh, friend, let us dance with this feeling for a moment! The bubbling cauldron of self-criticism, the stormy sea of guilt, the towering mountain of remorse – aren’t they fascinating creations of the mind?
Mistakes, ah, they are like the colorful threads that weave the tapestry of life. Without them, wouldn’t life be a dull, monochrome fabric? Embrace them, learn from them, and then let them go, like autumn leaves carried by the wind.
You’re like a potter molding clay, sometimes misshaping it, but every squeeze of the hand teaches something new. It’s a beautiful dance of creation, destruction, and recreation. You fall, you rise, you dance again. The clay never judges you, does it? Why judge yourself?
Do you ever watch children when they play? If they fall or make a mistake, they may cry for a moment, but then they laugh and return to their play. That innocence, that forgiveness, that eternal wisdom, is still within you.
Next time a mistake happens, let’s turn it into a playful adventure. Acknowledge it, learn from it, and then giggle with it. Thank the universe for this lesson, then open your hands and let it fly away, like a butterfly returning to the wild.
Remember, dear one, you’re not alone in this dance. Let’s flow with spontaneity and pure sheer energy, trusting the universe, like children playing in a vast, loving playground. Together, we heal and grow. 🦋
Is it the fear of judgement from others? Low self esteem?
Therapy helps a lot with this kind of thing.