Last fall/winter, I went on 5 dates with this guy I got set up with through mutuals. I really really liked him, and was pretty sure he was really into me too, and just as I thought it was leading to a relationship, he told me he had made someone else his girlfriend, but was still open to being friends with me. I respectfully said that I appreciated being told, but that I had feelings for him and didn’t think I was ready to be friends yet, and we haven’t talked since. I was sad but have since gotten over it, been dating but haven’t found anyone yet.
Anyways, recently I found out that this other girl was A) someone he previously knew wayyyy before me and therefore knew better, and had reconnected with, and B) that she is kind of mean to him, bosses him around, makes him do all the housework, tells him he isn’t making enough money, that his family doesn’t like her, etc. The mutuals I talked to were not big fans of her either.
I hadn’t really been dwelling on this guy (had plenty more recent unsuccessful dating attempts to focus on lol). But this weirdly made me feel better about him choosing this other person over me, because I know it’s not how I ever treat a partner. But, I think it’s also reignited a kernel of hope that maybe this 8 month or so relationship won’t last much longer, and we will reconnect down the line. I’ve started thinking about him again. I know this isn’t a healthy line of thinking. Who knows what their relationship is actually like, and plenty of people stay with and marry “not nice” partners anyways. Just would love some advice on how to keep expectations reasonable.
TLDR: guy I previously dated seems to be in a not great relationship, how do I stop from getting my hopes up!