I’m a senior in my last year of high school ive barely had any friends my whole life mostly because I didn’t know how to do that, but I’ve always wanted friends so I somehow made some friends abt 2 years ago which is crazy bc I was new at that school but then recently those friends have been bullying me and leaving me out a lot so i distanced myself and I pretty much dont want to have friends ever again as this is not the first time this has happened so I got tired of ppl and i think that’s a good thing as now I dont feel lonely at all but now I take private classes since its my last year and since my grades this year determine my college major idk if that’s a thing in other countries as well but it’s very common in mine ,every group of friends choose the teacher they think is best and they take the lesson at one of their houses I dont really have a group of friends so I take each subject with different ppl some of them are past classmates some of them used to be in the same school as me but we’re not really close I only got tk be with those different groups bc my mother arranged it ,whenever I go to one of them they’re all always talking and sometimes I they talk to me to ,they try to involve me in conversations since i dont participate ive always been quiet since i was young ppl thought I was weird for it even amongst the quietest ppl in the school Id be the quietest out of all of them yet the most uncomfortable with it ,so i always feel bad when i see ppl talking and im just standing there listening to them not contributing anything to the conversation it makes me feel like im not supposed to be there like eavesdropping on them I feel like an outsider like i dont belong which is true and I feel like i should try to talk and should socialize with them but no matter how much i try i cant bc idk how to idk how to jump in on a conversation where 3 or 4 ppl are talking i barely even know how to talk to one person everyone knows im quiet and i dont talk they probably think i dont like being around them and they dont really talk to me i would say only 2 ppl talk to me and the rest either never tried or gave up after they tried once which is understandable I dont blame any of them and I don’t hate any of them I just wish i could have a normal friendship where I get along with someone but i cant put in the effort for that im too drained to do that and i feel bad bc ive come to hate socializing i feel bad bc im rejecting ppl who did nothing wrong bc im too sensitive so is it ok if i just go on like this can i go on not socializing not uttering a word
2 comments
I totally get where you’re coming from. High school can be a tough time, and dealing with friends who aren’t treating you well can be really draining. It’s okay to take a step back and focus on your studies, especially if your grades are crucial for your college major.
If you’re not feeling up to socializing right now, that’s absolutely okay. It’s important to do what feels right for you and prioritize your own well-being. Don’t be too hard on yourself for being sensitive; it’s a part of who you are.
If you ever decide you want to make friends or improve your social skills, there’s no rush. You can take it at your own pace. And remember, you’re not alone in feeling this way. High school isn’t forever, and there are people who care about you and want to see you happy. Just do what feels right for you, and take care of yourself.
Focus on yourself. Go places you like that bring you peace and entertainment.
Focus on college… how do you want to present there? Curate images then figure out how to embody that look on yourself.
Internally and personality… what do you want to contribute to this world? These goals will shape you and put you into circles with others you’ll likely become friends with over time.