I (m28) and seeing a girl (f24) that’s too tight

2 comments

1. She’s either not turned on enough (yes, even if she’s wet, which is a physiological response she can’t control, her mind and body need to be turned on in other ways; you should ask her about them!), or she should ask her gyno about it. Her gyno will probably talk to her about vaginismus, but it’s important that she actually talk to her doctor about it instead of trying to home remedy, because it can have an underlying cause that requires medical attention. IANAD though, so these may not actually be the only two reasons. She should talk to her doctor either way, most likely.

2. It may be nerves and anxiety! Even if she’s wet, the muscles may not be relaxed enough. The fact she’s concerned that you both can’t enjoy sex may be adding to it too and it turns into a cycle. I struggled with this too in my previous relationship. I am not sure how long you have been seeing each other, but I find I struggle with this when the relationship is newer. I second the comment that said her mind and body needs to be turned on in other ways! You definitely should talk about it and no worries if you talk about and she doesn’t know. She, or the both of you may just need to explore more. I also had no idea because I didn’t have a lot of experience with a partner. For me, I was just so nervous about everything and I had to get out of my own head, which just took some time. The more I was comfortable, the more I could relax. When PIV couldn’t happen we would would continue with more foreplay and finish with oral.

   I thought vaginismus might have been my problem but it turns out, I just needed some time lol. She should definitely talk to her gyno about it first though! It’s always good to check and better to be safe. If I remember correctly, that does require medical treatment. Take care!