What is a reasonable amount of times per week or month for a married couple (37F/33M) to see/hang out/get together with their own friends, either together or individually?

29 comments

1. Do you guys have kids?

2. Once a week, unless it’s for a hobby/sport.

3. We hang out with friends together usually one night every weekend or every other weekend and maybe once or twice during the week most weeks. Give or take. In the months without snow, it can be more often. In the months with snow, probably a little less. We are social people and both extroverts to an extent – me more extreme than him. We don’t really hang out with friends without the other unless one of us is sick or has to work or something like that.

4. If you have kids, once or twice a week. If no kids and if you both agree you could go out more

5. I don’t understand the argument. How often do you *want* to do something social with friends? It’s going to be entirely based on individual preference, friends, free time, degree of extraversion, energy bandwidth. There’s no “right” number.

6. There is no objective truth for this.

   Take the time you need, for your life.

7. That’s deeply personal, and everyone is going to have a different answer.

8. Choose a number between 0 and 7.

   There’s no normal, and there’s no right and wrong. It doesn’t matter how closely aligned you and your partner are with the population average, only how closely aligned you and your partner are to each other.

9. I think it varies by couple. My husband and I often see our friends and pursue our own hobbies and social activities without the other because we like our autonomy as much as our marriage. It’s important to both of us to nurture both of those.

   If you and your wife are arguing about it, what’s the argument specifically?

10. Maybe once a week apart. But definitely nothing that is out late.

11. About once a month

12. Anywhere from a few times a week to a few times a year. It depends on the couple and their obligations.

13. Do people do that? I mean, have friends as an adult? 😆

14. We try to game every 2 weeks with our gaming group and maybe plan dinner at our house with our friends and their kids about twice a month? Give or take. It is almost always done together but sometimes my husband has other games he’ll do with his friends and that is typically online.

15. .y husband goes to his brother’s without me a couple times a month, for several hours at a time, but I’m always invited. He goes to his friend’s house probably 3-5/month. I’m always welcome but rarely invited. I see my friends solo maybe 1-2/month, and attend or host Girl’s Night once every 3-4 months.

    I feel guilty when I do simply bx he so rarely does the same

16. What’s normal for one couple won’t be normal for others.

    My husband and I are homebodies. We’re not big into socializing. We hate crowds, chaos, hate the high prices of everything. We prefer to be at home playing video games, swimming, walking the dog, reading, board games with our daughter etc. We have people were friendly with and occasionally have dinner with (it’s rare) but 9/10 times we’re just at home. We’re at a stage right now where we’re both TIRED. We work physically demanding jobs. At the end of the day nothing sounds worse than socializing lol

17. I dont get this question.

    If you want to go out and your partner doesn’t want you to, then you need to decide what you want more. Your friends or your partner

    I would never be with someone who restricted me. But I also don’t go out a lot. Once or twice a week.

18. Based on a study done by Harvard, the happiest people are those that have diverse, emotional connections with other human beings, both platonic and romantic. I prioritize my family and friends in my life. I see mine about once a week. I’m a married mother of three kids under eight. I want to model for my kids the importance of social bonds and connections.

19. My wife has 3 sets of friends from each stage of her life. I encourage she see or hang out with them a couple times a week as she’s a social butterfly. I personally don’t care about those interaction for myself. I might occasionally spend time with family or hang out with a friend but that’s like twice a year. But everyone is different.

20. Varies from couple to couple. In our case, I do not need too much of ‘friends’ time, so I meet friends once, maybe twice a week. She does one or two as well. The rest of the week we spend one or two nights together and maybe 2 to 1 night on our own, reading, watching TV or playing video games. We found this to be very balanced.

21. As often as you needed for your mental health, but not too often that it has a negative impact on your relationship (like for example that it prevents you from spending time with spouse or children, or from completing your household duties).

22. Depends. We have two elementary school kids, so someone going out means the other one has the kids alone. It’s completely doable, but it’s additional stress, especially if one parent is constantly out and the other is not.

    We try to shoot for 2&3 times a month where we do some kind of social thing without kids together, and then hope each of us can do 2-3 things solo where we wouldn’t need a babysitter as the other one will be home.

23. Friends can be a tremendous support system once you have children.

    Last weekend my husband went to a football draft party with seven of his oldest friends (a many years tradition) My daughter and I stayed home to look after our newly hatched chicks, but our 12 year old asked to tag along. The men played mental games, solved puzzles, and answered trivia to determine draft picking order. I told our son to take plenty of pictures for me as these events always produce many laughs and funny videos to tease each other with until the next year. While they are being silly in the pics and vid’s, you can tell they love each other. They are brothers. He could call any of them and they’d answer ready to help. Men need friends, too. Maybe more than women because it’s harder for them to connect. Just something to think about perhaps.

24. Personally feel It’s important that your partner has their own social life otherwise they end up like me, where your partner has friends that call and check up on them to socialize and they don’t.

25. Every couple has their unique rhythm when it comes to socializing, and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. For instance, my sister and her husband often enjoy outings both individually and as a couple. As for me, the joy of spending time with my wife surpasses any other experience. We often choose to be in each other’s company, even when socializing with friends. It’s not about limiting our individual social lives but rather cherishing the bond we share. I find that being with her amplifies the joy of any outing. My love for her is immeasurable, and I treasure every moment we spend together, whether it’s just the two of us or with friends.

26. I used to have this problem. Now I’m single and do whatever I want and just date. Best of both worlds

27. I don’t think there’s an answer for that. It should vary by couples and they need to come to an understanding. My husband and I do basically whatever we want. He works from home and I was a stay at home cat mom for the better part of the last 2.5 years after we moved across the country. We’re together ALL the time so whenever either of us wants to do something with a friend, we don’t mind. My husband goes out more than I do, which is fine because I enjoy my alone time. I don’t have many friends here, so I don’t go out too much and with now starting school again, I probably won’t be able to much.

28. I encourage my husband to hang out with friends once a week. We are empty nesters, for the past 3 years, and I feel we need to start being social again. We made our children our top priority and now it is our time to live for ourselves.

29. Well rounded functionsl humans do not stop having meaningful friendships just because we get married.

    After 37 yeas of marriage, kids, grand kids, dogs, elderly parents, I still keep in touch and visit with my friends every chance I get. (Full disclosure, as a military family, we have friends all over the world. So when they are in town or we have a chance to visit their location we jump at it)

    I visit with my local friends at least weekly. Husband does as well.

    This is how we continue to grow and not stagnate.