Around a month ago, I stayed over at my girlfriend’s, and we seemed to be doing well. But that very evening, things went so wrong. At about 8 PM, I received a message from an unknown guy filled with photos, screenshots, and videos of my girlfriend’s conversations with two different guys. As I read them my whole world crumbled… I felt disappointed but deep down I already knew for some weeks that something was wrong. Out of huge emotions, I just packed my stuff and left, she ran outside after me. I confronted her, she claimed she was only trying to make friends and didn’t think she was doing anything wrong. She pleaded with me not to break up and insisted she loves me. I still decided to break up and drove away.
She was sending them messages like e.g. she misses them, hoping they’d dream of her, exchanging photos where they made heart symbols with their fingers. She sent them drawings with hearts, silly notes, and the guy’s name on it. She even sent one of them a revealing photo of her face without a shirt, clearly showing she wasn’t wearing a bra. From the timestamps, it looked like they talked during the day and deep into the night when I wasn’t around.
Furthermore she had been complaining about me to them. Mentioning how she doesn’t look forward to our evening hangouts.
But the thing that was the nail in the coffin was that she made plans to meet up with one of these guys who’s 28 (and for context, she’s 18). YES, 18 year old female decided to meet up with 28 year old male! It makes me want to vomit every time I think about it. The whole time, she was telling me stories about helping her mom move furniture, etc. It was basically a one big lie. She was with that guy. She even prepared a photo of her being in her home to send me so that I don’t suspect anything. There are photos of her writing on the guy’s hand “\[name of the guy\] of \[her name\]”, so basically telling that “he is hers”. She always used to write those on my hand… She even bit him in his hand (this is her kink thing, she always used to tell me that “it’s her way of showing love”).
She still to this day claims that she was only trying to make friends and didn’t think she was doing anything wrong and insists she loves me. But here’s where it gets even more complicated. My parents are on her side, saying I’m being stubborn and if I really loved her, I would forgive her.I feel extremely manipulated and not understood by people around me. She managed to turn everyone against me. Now everything comes together, I feel like a fool for not looking through this girl much earlier…
​
What do you guys think about this situation?
​
tl;dr
I stayed at my girlfriend’s house and received messages from an unknown person showing she was emotionally close with two other guys. She complained about me to them, made deep emotional gestures like she did with me, and even planned a secret meet-up with one who’s much older. She lied about her whereabouts and had prepared fake evidence to mislead me. I confronted her; she said she was trying to make friends. I decided broke up with her.
9 comments
It’s not totally uncommon for an 18 yo girl to make questionable mistakes and lapses in judgment/character. Your parents are wild though.
OP, my mom tried to gaslight me out of being upset that she regularly flirts with other men over text, that she cheats on my Dad, etc. Saying it’s a normal part of adult life.
There are a lot of bad people out there who will lie to themselves and/or eat their own bullshit. Just stick with what you know is right, and be the kind of person you can be proud of.
I mean it sounds like she broke your trust or she was going to shortly. It’ll probably be a learning experience for her not to do that kind of thing while in a relationship. She’ll probably also start dating one of these dudes.
Just tell your parents that you just don’t feel like you can trust her anymore more so you had to break it off. If they keep bothering you tell them that your decision isn’t up for debate and they need to respect it.
You’re still young and will find someone more mature to have a relationship with.
She was going to cheat on you and your parents are taking her side? Jesus, that’s unbelievably fucked.
Good for you to just up and leave that toxic person. Lies unlimited, she’s broken so young, so sad.
And your folks are simply mistaken.
Leave her and tell everyone you have evidence on your phone but you don’t want to embarrass her so you are keeping them private. I bet it will calm down after that. Sorry about your luck with her but you will be better off in the long run. Keep your head up!
She sounds very mentally ill and unstable. Like she makes these impulsive and risky decisions and then decides she’s in love with someone after barely knowing them? Nah. You should block her everywhere.
Also your parents suck and anyone on her side sucks. She must be extremely manipulative.
She didn’t love you. Of that I am certain.
Dump her cheating ass. She doesn’t love you and only sorry she got caught
Tell you parents to butt out or face losing the relationship with you.
Your ex, make sure to she remains your ex, is delusional. Move on with your life. Be productive with your time. Improve your life. Then enjoy it.
Yikes. Just be happy you found out