Is it better to tell a friend you’re crushing on about your romantic feelings towards them, or is it better to say nothing and see if they show undeniable romantic interest/obvious flirting and then make a move?
I’ve (22f) been crushing on my friend(22f) for two months and I don’t know if I should confess or not … don’t want to ruin our relationship. I’ve known her about 3 years but I still don’t know how to approach this.
I am pretty sure she has feelings for me too. She and I have really good conversations, chemistry and lately she has held my hand and been extra affectionate since after I broke up with my ex two months ago. I have caught feelings for my friend but I don’t know if I should tell her or just see how things play out?
If you had a friend that was romantically interested in you, would you prefer if they just outright said or indicated it, or if they continued to interact as platonic friends while having hidden intentions?
Tldr: I am crushing hard on my friend (likely reciprocated by her) but I don’t know if I should confess my feelings for her or let the tension build up …
Edit: my friend is definitely attracted to women, she’s had a long term gf in the past, we talk often about our dating lives, coming out, etc
4 comments
Tell her. Those feelings are probably going to continue to grow. Feelings happen. Especially between two people who enjoy each other a lot. I caught feelings after 6 years with my best male friend. I spent 2 years belly aching silently about it and finally confessed. Now we are married with a kid so I’d say telling him was the right choice for us.
Are you sure that she’s interested in women? Because I’m straight and have held hands with/ been affectionate towards close female friends. If you think there’s a possibility that she would be open to being romantic, then yes- you should tell her.
As a general rule, yes, you should tell her. It’s better to be upfront and honest instead of playing games and leading each other along. Plus, if she says yes, you can just move to the part of the relationship where you actually enjoy yourselves and bask in your newfound love for each other.
THAT BEING SAID: depending on how long your previous relationship lasted, I’d say 2 months after a breakup is a dangerous time to be starting up another relationship. It’s entirely possible you’re looking for intimacy to fill the void of a previous relationship. How long were you with your ex? If longer than a year, I would say maybe wait another couple months and see if the feelings last. If you’re worried about dragging it on after that, commit to a hard deadline of 6 months, and force yourself to ask her out after that.
It’s always best to say something.