A year and a half ago, I accidentally met this guy at a coffee shop because I spilled my coffee on the floor everywhere, and he helped me clean it up. He was obviously into me, and I was attracted to him, but I had a boyfriend at the time. I thought he was really nice, and I left him a note on his car door later on with my Instagram account (just because it felt sad/weird to have this interaction, and never see him again, I thought we could be friends). He ended up DM-ing me on Instagram asking me out, and I told him I had a boyfriend. Flash forward to now, I’ve been broken up with my boyfriend for about 6 months, so I decided to message him on Instagram (he had since unfollowed me), and asked him to hangout, saying in brackets that I was now single. He responded simply with “hahaha,” liked my message, and followed me back again. I’m so confused what this means? If he was in a relationship now, wouldn’t he just say so? Is he upset because I “rejected” him a year and a half ago, but made it look like I was into him by giving him my Instagram? Thoughts, anyone?
8 comments
Bro seems like a fuck boy. If a girl “rejected” me because she had a boyfriend I would see that as a plus. You aren’t a cheater. I’d be happy to go out with that person. I, actually, had that happen. Though it was just a hook up. Like once she was single, I asked her out again.
You gave your insta to and wanted to be “friends” with a man who you were attracted to, who was also “obviously” attracted to you while you had a boyfriend?
*”Asked a guy out I previously rejected because I was dating my ex boyfriend, and he said no”*
Good for him.
Now get over it and move on.
Maybe he doesn’t want to date someone who’s basically giving their number out to random guys that they meet, while being in a relationship.
If a woman gave me her number, and then said “no I have a boyfriend” when I asked her out, I’d probably delete her number right there and react the same way if she reached out a year later saying her relationship was over and she wanted to go out.
You probably made him feel like an idiot by leading him on and then shooting him downs. Why would you expect a positive response?
I would do the same.
If someone turns me down, it’s cool but I gradually adjust how I think about that person because they are not into me. Eventually it will get to the point where I just won’t be interested in them that way anymore.
Straight talk: You deserve being rejected by that guy, OP. Let alone for the fact that you – like all other people who cheat (emotionally) – take zero accountability for their messed up behaviour.
Here is the real deal: You, OP, cheated emotionally and played your back-then boyfriend. You literally **decided** to provide another man – who hit on you (!) – with your contact details. It does not matter whether that is your phone number, Insta or whatever. You could have easily rejected the guy on location stating that you are in a relationship, yet you **chose** not to and instead **chose** to connect with this other man.
Basically you´re the kind of woman who plays the old, silly “I want to have my cake and eat it, too” game: You just confessed to everyone that you are unwilling to properly say “no” to third parties while being in a relationship. To make it worse: You´re having zero scruples when it comes to adding a third party to your contacts – whether just for attention/validation or, as in your case, to keep them as a fall-back-guy or “option”, does not matter. I can only imagine how you´d feel if roles were reversed and your back-then boyfriend would have cheated on you the way you did on him.
And it gets worse and worse: You literally just confessed that this new guy, to you, is but an “option” – why else keep him around until you finally get rid of your now ex boyfriend and expecting him to hook up with you, hmmm? And as it goes: Zero accountability taken, as usual.
So yeah, there is nothing to be “confused” about: This new guy realised everything I just typed out. He hit on a girl who – on location – both lied to him as well as disrespecting and playing her back-then boyfriend. He realised that he got the contact details of a woman who obviously doesn´t care enough about her partners to turn down third parties right away. He understood that you´re willing to keep him around until it is his turn, so to speak. And because he most likely thinks like the majority of men, he is not looking for the type of woman you are, won´t be an “option” or fall-back-guy and hence turned you down because he respects himself as well as your ex-boyfriend more than you do.
Not to speak about the risk that comes with dating you: Because if you already disrespected your partner that way, why would this new guy even want to date you? He´s just next in line until you bump into yet another third party you easily give your credentials to. You did this to your ex, so most likely you will do that to him, too. He knows. Which is why he does the right thing: Not moving anything further with you.
A guy helped you out and you flirted with him. Gave him your contact information. Then rejected his advances because you had a bf. Now that you’re single you’re trying to get with this backup plan. I would have rejected you too. I wouldn’t want a girl I’m dating giving out her contact info to random dudes.
Why is everyone hating so hard on op?