I organized a surprise birthday party for my girlfriend of 2 years of relationship. I arranged it all with her mother, it would take place at her house and I said to her we were going to have dinner in a restaurant close by.
When she left the university, we went to my place and I had already told her that we would have to get ready there and just leave the car at her house. Whats I wasn’t expecting was that she had brought a sheer top and wore it just with a lace bra. The truth is her nipples were almost see through. So I warned it to her, but she insisted that it wasn’t a problem and that we were anyways just going to a restaurant.
Okay, I thought she would arrive at the party and get changed (since it was in her house). But actually she didn’t, she insisted that I was exaggerating and that it was nothing much relevant. Until that okay, at least the lace bra was somehow hiding it.
However, she had the brilliant idea (after lots of drinks) to get into the pool. And she did, with her friends. At that moment I realized things were more complicated, since I saw that it was much more see thorough. But I thought she would just get out of the pool at some moment and get changed right away.
And then, okay, she got out of the pool and headed straight to the bathroom. After some minutes, I just see her getting back, but this time with the sheer top, but without the bra. So I asked her what she was doing, and she said that her bra was really wet and that just she top was already dry. I wondered why she wouldn’t change her clothes, and she started saying I was exaggerating and that it wasn’t really something. Since I saw things weren’t get any better because she was already drunk, I just tried to forget about it and point this matter latter.
Well but the things is that the party still lasted for about 2 hours, with about 25 people in there, and she was almost with her tits out. I even listened her friend saying like “omg wtf girl you are almost nude” and she just said laughing “I know, it’s because my bra was really wet, but anyway I like this style”.
Then in the next day I told her I’ve got uncomfortable and she said I was exaggerating, that it was just breasts and she still had a shirt on. But to be fair, I don’t know what to think about this. Am I really exaggerating or did she really overstep all the limits?
TLDR: my girlfriend ended up wearing a sheer top with no bra in her birthday party and thinks I’m exaggerating to get uncomfortable
9 comments
I think you have every right to feel uncomfortable, she shouldn’t diminish your feelings like that. But im not sure what limits you are you referring to that she overstepped?
I think it’s important she acknowledges how you feel. You should read up on emotional invalidation.
I’m not saying it’s wrong that she wore a sheer top, if she’s comfortable to do that she has every right to but its something worth talking about if it bothered you. And she should attempt to understand why, even if she felt it was okay, she should be concerned about how it affected you.
Why r u so scared of her breasts? Are they haunted, do they bite? Like yeah maybe her outfit was revealing but she’s an adult and allowed to wear what she pleases especially at her own house and her own party.
Idk what the issue is genuinely are you the clothing police? Your allowed to be uncomfortable but it isn’t fair to try and insinuate that she should be uncomfortable when she clearly feels good in her own skin surrounded by her own friends.
Her clothes are not your responsibility. Letting her know once might be seen as a friendly tip. Nagging her about it over and over seems oddly controlling.
So before you get hounded by the her body her choice folks, which is the correct answer. Obviously you have incompatibilities around what you find acceptable as “public nudity” with your partner. Not wanting to have your SOs breasts out to the world is not a weird thing. It just means you need to either A) get over it and move on or B) decide if this is a deal breaker and find someone who is more conservative in their dress and actions. I 100% wouldn’t have been comfortable like you in this situation. Especially friends and people we socialize with. But your both real young and things like this are situations that you use to weed out future partners.
Stop acting like you own your girlfriend’s body. It’s her decision as to what she does with it. If you didn’t think of her as a possession these thoughts wouldn’t have crossed your mind. Her boobs have nothing to do with you. At all.
You have every right to be upset over it, and it’s justified, just like she has every right to wear what she wants.
It’s up to you to decide whether this is a major dealbreaker or not. If she doesn’t care to consider your feelings, and this is something you can’t stand by, then it might be best to re-consider your relationship.
If this is something you can move past on, then I’d try to learn to accept it.
Regardless of some of the comments here, it is ridiculous what she did. She is an exhibitionist and it is a red flag.
Might not be the right girl for ya if you’re not okay with her boobs being on display. She said she liked that style.
Let her live! Who cares