lately i’ve been thinking a lot about my role in social situations and how difficult i find it to integrate and fit in groups… at my summer job, everyone seems so fake – smiling to someone’s face and being very nice to them, and then you hear the person talk shit about the other one. sometimes even really contradicting themselves… e.g person A saying to person B that they did well at a presentation but then behind B’s back criticise B to their circle…
I just don’t understand if this is commonly accepted and they only do that to be polite or is this a bad move? because for me it doesn’t seem like the most trustworthy thing to do
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Distance yourself from people like that, because if they do that to other people they are going to definitely do it to you. That is not common and those are not good people.
In the workplace especially, talking shit is par for the course. Friends you make at work are co-workers first, and everyone will always look out for themselves in work situations.
Common? Oh hell yeah! It’s a very effective and strangely still very socially acceptable bonding strategy, talking shit about someone else.
Every group has its own culture. These people seem like bad news.
Gossip is one of the ways that groups regulate themselves. So it’s natural to some extent.
That said, if it’s too frequent, or too toxic, it can be really unhealthy. Probably best to accept that it will happen, but to avoid contributing to it as much as possible.