I am a gay woman and I am almost 30 but I’ve never been in a serious relationship. I had a girlfriend once for a few weeks but all we ever did was kiss a few times. She wasn’t happy with that and got kind of pushy and I didn’t feel comfortable or really even safe around her. It’s been a few years now but I’m still too nervous to try and meet someone. And on top of that it takes a long time for me to develop romantic feelings for people. It’s only happened to me a few times before but by the time it happens for me the other person has lost intrest in me and then I take the rejection really hard. I know there are other people who have little to no experience even at my age but I don’t really know many. I don’t know what to do. I want to be in a relationship someday but the older I get the less likely that feels. Are there people willing to take a chance on a 30 year old virgin? Is there anyone that has expeirienced this? How do you deal with isolation and loneliness?

20 comments

  2. You deal with isolation and loneliness the same way you do with any other feelings you have that you won’t actively do anything about.
    It’s not going to go away if you don’t actively make the effort to do something about it.
    Definition of insanity and all that.

  4. We are what we are. But don’t worry, many woman would be happy to have a 30 year old Virgin. In fact, my GF (Bi) is already excited having fantasies about what “could” be

  5. Are you sure you’re gay? Or lesbian whatever.

    I’m a 31 year old straight man. Yes I’m in shape. Yes I’m broke. I’m good looking too.

    It’s normal. I’ve never been in a relationship. In a virgin too.

    At your age I think most people will understand you’re looking for something serious. And let it be known.

    To really develop romantic feelings for someone you need to go through a relationship together. The people who are too pushy just want one thing.

    Find ways to boost confidence and put yourself out there

  9. Queer lady here!

    >Are there people willing to take a chance on a 30 year old virgin? Is there anyone that has expeirienced this?

    Yes! You’re very normal. It’s super super common for gay women to be in your situation. Gay women just don’t have the same hookup culture that straight people and gay men do. And women by default don’t have the same box of tools that men have around initiating, it’s so hard for us to get that romantic/sexual energy going with other women. So it’s super common for gay women to get to their late 20s and have almost no experience.

    My advice to meet other queer women is to volunteer for your local queer sexual health resource centre or pride organization. In your 30s it’s much harder to meet people and it helps to stick to queer spaces. Which apps have you tried? I always got good quality matches with women on OKC back when I did online dating.

  10. I’m a 21 yo male been in 4-5 relationships only one lasted 2 years which surprised me but I lost my virginity in those relationships good thing bc I’ve been single for 3 years now since me and her broke up over something stupid I did

  11. I’m a straight man and it’s normal. I’m 32 now and in a relationship again after my very first that started when I was only 27. You don’t need to feel ashamed. You’re just unfortunate to not find love yet. Someone people find their soulmate early and the rest of us gradually do. Just do you and focus on yourself tbh don’t force anything. Real love is something you’ll feel in your heart when it’s true. Don’t give up on your heart

  15. Im a 32 y o lesbian man. Like I crave muff more than steak and taters, we should meet. Haha jk..

  16. About to turn 27, straight (so I feel like it should be easier for me) and nope still never had one either! Just gotta keep believing it’ll happen eventually! Best of luck

  17. This is normal hook up culture doesn’t really exist in the lesbian community so lots of women are in your position

  18. Just find the one that conforts your feelings, take your time, and let it flow, im alone, but I would prefer that everyone else got his other half.

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