I matched with a guy on a dating app and messaged him first. He looked very handsome and honestly I thought he was out of my league, but he seemed nice and enthusiastic to talk. We chatted for a little bit and he asked me out. We went for a walk today. My impression was that he seemed louder ans more extroverted than I expected (his laugh seemed almost fake at times). But we talked about the usual stuff – work, studies, hobbies, travel, dating experiences and for me it felt ok, same as other first dates I had. Then there was some silence that lasted a bit longer and I was already going to step in and come up with something to ask him but he suddenly said that our conversation isn’t going well and suggested to part our ways, whishing me to find someone more compatible. I just said ok and walked away in whatever direction was the opposite. Honestly I felt humiliated. I don’t feel like 30 minutes is enough to make such decisions. Unless your date is disappointing outright- doesn’t look like in the photos, acts mean or weird, only answers in yes no, smells bad…I was never any of that! Moreover, I mentioned that I was introvert while chatting so I don’t know what kind of a bubbly person he was expecting then. He also unmatched me soon afterwards.
I’m thankful that it ended quickly because he didn’t seem like my type, seemed like the guy who gets a lot of attention from women, but I was willing to get to know him. Now I know we are too different. I just try to be considerate and give people time and not to make them feel bad and feel like I wasn’t treated fairly this time. So I just wanted to get this off my chest…
TL;DR – 30 minutes into the date, guy decided that it’s not working and says goodbye, although we had a normal conversation. Feels like he expected a girl who is more extroverted or hotter.
17 comments
Yeah sounds like he just hoped ud be hotter
Sorry it didn’t work out. I actually prefer the cut to the chase method. If you aint feeling it, spending more time with me aint gonna change much.
Im a firm believer that you sorts know if you wanna hang out with a person again within the first 15 mins of meeting them.
I dunno, I’ve been told by my dates that I’m easy to talk to. I’m a good listener and volley the conversation pretty well. Also have a lot of real world experience, etc.
I usually decide in the first 5 minutes if I want to see this person again and it is usually the case for many people. He was honest and didn’t waste your time or ghost you afterwards which is a plus. I know rejection is not easy to handle, but it is how it is.
I could tell within two minutes of meeting somebody whether I couldn’t have a future with them. He decided within the first five minutes that he didn’t want to continue with you There is nothing wrong with that. Just move on to the next person
This is the way!! Saves everyone time and energy. Some people don’t need long to decide
Starfield just came out, probably wanted to play.
He wanted sex most likely. I had a female prolong a date when she want to just have sex. I took her out to two different places walked between. She told me by showing me her vibater on her phone. We walked back to her car after and I gave her gas money.
I wouldn’t mind I recently had a date that dragged on and and and then she pulled the rug and said she’s like asexual or something.
“I’m thankful that it ended quickly because he didn’t seem like my type”, You even commented on his laugh seeming fake at times and you wonder why he kept it brief. Also, Extended silence/s is very uncomfortable on first dates. People know when things are not going well, So why prolong the ……..erm discomfort? In scenarios like that, I just thank a person for their time and leave with zero unnecessary comments.
I agree with most others here, if either of you are not feeling it then it’s time to bail. Better than wasting time or ghosting later.
Sorry it didn’t work out, honestly I wish this would happen to me more often. I waste time, money and energy on women who will let me stay for hours and spend tons of money on them only to tell me they aren’t interested despite seeming very interested on the date.
I know if sucks but he honestly saved you time. I have this theory about people that they don’t know themselves some people are able to know right away whether they are interested, some people are the slow burn type. He knows he isn’t going to be interested and he’s not wasting your time. It feels hurtful I’m sure but I promise you he did you a favor.
Im sorry that this happened to you. However, this kind of stuff happens in the dating world. To guys too. Girls have a friend on stand by to call them and they get out of a date.
Not really your fault at all. You have no way of knowing if this date lasted for 10 hours it would be any better. Doesnt reflect on you as a person at all.
Just be happy he ended it quickly and didnt string you along until you slept with him (as is this case normally).
Dating is a trial and error process. Some dates are going to be bad.
>I’m thankful that it ended quickly because he didn’t seem like my type
I mean… sounds like he came to the same conclusion?
That sucks. No one likes rejection
Those who date often are a lot more likely to cut to the chase like that. Or someone entitled
See I feel that if we went out of our way to schedule a date, then we should at least enjoy the short amount of time we agreed to (i.e. one meal, one drink, one movie). Leaving before is rude. I respect the honesty, sometimes people do not match. The problem is running out solely because of that reason. We just met, now you ghost me in person? Smh. If you think that’s respectful behavior, then by all means meet me at a public park, or a drive thru has a better get away… just sayin’.
Sorry about that but I’m happy he left it than manage through something he disliked.
He’d have been lowkey irritated and would’ve ghosted you hard.
Hang in there
I don’t know. I make my opinion of a situation pretty quick.