So the other week I came home from work sick, I passed out on my Bf on the sofa wearing just a tank top and panties. I woke up from my nap because he was jerking off while fondling me when I was passed out and I woke up just as he was about to finish and he came all over me.
Is it weird that I was actually really turned on by this and thought it was super hot? Like I kinda wish he had tried to put it in or wasn’t so close and could have fucked me. But I feel like such a freak for getting turned on by this and don’t even know how to address it.
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This is known as “free use” or sometimes cnc.
Free Use!
It’s amazing, and you should def talk to your bf about exploring it 🙂
My wife and I had this arrangement and her only rule was “don’t get it in my hair because I don’t want to have to shower before work tomorrow.”
What did you do afterwards?
And the thing to do, if you have not done so already, is tell him how much it turned you on
Somnophilia is the interest in having sex with a sleeping person. You may want to have a small conversation about how you didn’t consent to being touched in your sleep….and then have a discussion about healthy ways in the future of exploring this as a kink. It can be awesome if everyone is on board.
Fetlife
This ☝️ I love it, Somnophillia! My other half also has sexomnia so it kinda works both ways…. I get so turned on when I wake to him touching me or masterbating either awake or asleep…
He is a lucky guy
For a moment can we talk about the fact that you DID NOT consent to this??
It’s great that it turned you on, but, in order to be able to explore this kink, it should be with someone you fully trust.
How can you trust your bf if he was so willing to do this without your consent?
How would you be responding right now if this didn’t turn you on?
I had a partner that gave me explicit permission to wake her up with sex or touch her/myself while she was sleeping.
You should have a conversation about it. Doesn’t have to be a big one, just tell him it’s okay, that you think it’s sexy, and anything you wouldn’t be okay with.
In my case one time I accidentally had morning sex with my gf while she was still asleep (I thought she was just making early morning moves on me) – after we finished she said “you can wake me up with sex anytime”
That was it. Easy conversation.
Obviously if you wake up and ask him to stop he still needs to stop, but it’s very sexy to have permission
I’m gonna have that talk with him tonight and hopefully that will be my morning tomorrow w
I mean, it’s definitely great that you enjoyed it, but it’s definitely *not* great that he did that without your consent. Unless there’s been previous discussion about this for him to know that you were interested, you should be more concerned…
You do need to address it though and the sooner the better.
What he is doing is essentially sexual assault and you need to make sure the consent is there for it if you enjoy it.
I mean
I guess it’s cool that you happen to enjoy this. It isn’t as unusual or uncommon as you are afraid of.
But it’s still a bit unnerving that he would just do this without your permission. Especially if you were sick…If you guys had previously discussed something like this then I will sit down and shut up, but it is something you two should have communicated about.
I’d like that. Kinda hot.
I’m the same way. One time I woke up to my Bf touching me and eating me out and as soon as I woke up he put it in and it was really hot and sexy. Loved it
Free use / sleep sex is a thing! Talk about it, a lot, and enjoy!
Not weird at all. My husband has my express permission to fondle me and/or try to have sex with me while I am asleep. It makes me absolutely feral to be woken up like that. I say have fun with it! Just make sure you discuss consent, what’s allowed, what isn’t allowed, etc beforehand.
isn’t this called somnophilia
You can find sleep fantasies all over the place. It could be a fetish, or it could be something he is missing in your relationship and afraid to talk about. If you are turned on and he likes it, good for both of you.
SO SO hot!!!!
not weird at all. this is literally my dream. but i find it much less satisfying that i have to map/plan it out beforehand to get that effect.
I think it’s perfectly fine to have this kink but what isn’t fine is that this wasn’t discussed with u before he went and did it. He took advantage of u without consent, which regardless of if it turned u on or not, is wrong
I have this one no idea what it is but I love the idea of being woken up by a partner while being played with, on, being fucked or someone riding me I think its something to do with them wanting me so bad they have to have me right then and there
So hot!
I think the technical term is Somnophilia
I love this too, enjoy!
Somnophilia :3 it’s way more common than you’d think. I’ve uh, had the fetish since I was like 8 lol
He is lucky you liked it. It could have gone the other way just as easily and this post would have looked very different.
Clearly he was turned on by you and as long as you are ok with it then there is nothing wrong. Maybe talk about it and set boundaries if necessary.
No eyes no hair don’t care
That would be a kink, not a fetish
lol i love when my bf jerks off next to me/fondles or fucks me/just over all uses me to get off while im sleeping. its ridiculous hot in the way he cant help but touch himself or fuck me while next to me/think of me
How? This fake “sleep” I’d wake up as soon as I felt a hand on me!
Me and my man gave each other consent to do it whilst one of us is sleeping. My libido is so high. I wanna be **** 24/7 lol.
This is actually a pretty common fetish. As long as both parties are wanting to do it and you give open consent then you’re good. 2 of my exes gave me open consent to mess around when they were sleeping. I’d play with them until they were wet and eventually work their panties off. Being careful to not wake them. I’d have them waking up to an orgasm. I absolutely loved it.
r/sleepsex
Waking up by being aroused with morning wood has always been a favorite of mine. I usually let them know, in advance, that if their feeling frisky in the morning, arousing me awake is my favorite alarm clock.
That’s assault brotha
Just an FYI the term is actually somnophilia not “free use”, which is a kink however under law even if you consent prior, the moment you fall asleep that consent is voided and any act performed on you while unconscious is considered sexual assault. It’s important to discuss boundaries around this kink and be very aware of legal repercussions associated with indulging.
I think that sounds pretty normal.
There is something sexy about that liminal space between sleeping and waking
Play around with various scenarios
Not a bad fetish at all or weird! It’s called somnophilia, I’d 100% suggest bringing up wanting to try it, obviously having a safeword if you want it to stop, and if you want for basically a “here’s my consent before hand, you may use me tonight” wear a SPECIFIC outfit for it that makes things accessible and gives a clear green flag!
What he did is considered sexual assault, he did not know you’d be into it or are into it and still came all over you, its rather disturbing to me. Now that you realize you enjoyed it, why are you so apprehensive to tell him you enjoyed what he did? Serious lack of communication here and something to be worked on
Look up CNC – consent/non-consent. Sounds like this is something you’d enjoy with your partner, maybe
he did this without your consent…that’s *not* cool.
however, exploring kinks consensually *is* cool.
First and extremely importantly, just because you liked it doesn’t make what he did okay. From what I’m understanding, you two had never discussed this. Unless you have expressed a desire in being fondled at anytime whether or not you are also engaged in the intimacy, what he did needs to be addressed. It is never okay for anyone to touch you (or worse) without your acknowledgement and consent. Whether he didn’t realize he needed your acknowledgement and consent or he simply didn’t care are both areas of concern.
Please take the time to address this behavior for both your sakes.
Now that that’s out of the way, sleep sex is absolutely a thing. Don’t ever feel ashamed about sharing your thoughts, feelings, and kinks with a trusted partner. Engage in these conversations earnestly and honestly. You will both live more fulfilled lives for it.
He clearly enjoyed what he was doing. You should absolutely tell him you enjoyed it too. Talk with him about what is okay or not and when it is okay for him to do these things to you. Establish boundaries when and where they exist so you can both safely and happily explore all your kinks and fantasies.
Good luck, best wishes, take care, and have fun!
Try looking into somnophilia (I believe it’s called) and free use contracts with your partner (always ALWAYS talk about safety, limits and terms before actually doing anything, and if you want the security, a signed document stating them). What you’re describing sounds quite similar: being fucked or fondled while asleep/unconscious. Just be sure to be safe!