Hello, I am 17F and I have been asked multiple times to have sex with a dude from my town (22M) but I refused every one of them because: He is not my type; He has a history of leaking nude pics of girls; He won’t use protection; He is a druggie and probably has something; He has herpes as well.

I am really scared because he have cornered me before in attempt to SA me and I have gone away with it because of period and stuff. I can’t report him since I can’t prove his wrongdoings. I also can’t tell my mother because she will go to the police and police in my country won’t do a damn thing right. (have happened before).

How should I make him not want to do this? I know I sound pathetic but I really don’t know know what else to do.

46 comments

  1. I’m so sorry you’re going through this! Make sure you carry pepper spray just in case and don’t hesitate to give a swift kick in the balls if he tries anything funny.

  4. He just sounds like a prowling rapist.

    First and foremost, just like bullies NEVER EVER get tempted to give him what he wants in order to get him off your back, it won’t work it will only make things worse because you would have proved to be a weak target.

    And if there is one thing bullies want, it is a weak target.

    Secondly, tell your mother and even if police won’t do anything, you are better protected if there are other people who know of your insecurity.

    Your security is at risk and treat it as such, this is not even about sex but (let me use a big word here) RAPE.

  5. Don’t go anywhere alone if that’s possible. Tell someone you trust so they can help you. If he ever tries to force you or you get cornered, make sure you have pepper spray or a weapon of some kind. If you don’t have that, scream and fight as much as you can. The front of the throat, the eyes, the groin, and the stomach are good places to hit. Hit as hard as you can. Carry a knife if you need to, pepper spray does spread. It’s not a precise thing, it will probably affect you too so be aware of that. I’d report him anyway, honestly. Make police aware and if anything happens (and I really hope nothing does), you can have a basis to sue them for not doing their job and protecting you.

  9. Stab the dude in the dick or something being the aggressor is better than being the victim. Stab him there he may be angry but at least he ain’t using it on you.

  11. What country do you live in? There has to be a way you can defend yourself.

    Don’t be scarred of this bully he’s not as powerful as you think. Bullies pick on weak targets. As soon as he knows you’ll fight back, he’ll leave you alone.

    Get some pepper spray and spray him with it the next time he harasses you. Watch some YouTube videos about the most effective way to do it. Who cares if it’s illegal? This creep isn’t going to the cops. I’m sure you can get some pepper spray online. If you can’t get pepper spray, carry a heavy flashlight or a baseball bat and hit him in the head with it. Practice swinging on a target in your back yard. Carry a machete if you have too. That’s what my female friends in Guatemala do and nobody messes with them.

    If you don’t want to do that or feel too intimidated, then ask your dad, an uncle or maybe the toughest guys in your class to kick this dude’s ass. 17 year old boys would probably love the chance to be heroes and defend their female classmate.

    You have options, don’t let this guy do this to you.

  13. >I also can’t tell my mother because she will go to the police and police in my country won’t do a damn thing right. (have happened before).

    What fucking country is this may I ask?

  14. If your police really won’t do shit (which is hard to believe because even the police will have some people who care about stuff like that) get in touch with people that could solve this problem the traditional way. There’s plenty of men (myself included) who don’t let shit like that slide and will get themselves involved. This is particularly the case in countries with corrupt governments and police. Find a local fighting gym that seems upstanding and has a good image. Go to some classes, tell the men there about your situation, how helpless it makes you feel, and ask if they could help in any way. I’m pretty sure your problem will be handled but I’d still suggest you try the police route first. Solving problems the old way can get messy

  15. Try and find a self defence class of some kind and start attending that or atleast talk to the people who run the class and explain your situation.

  16. You can probably purchase pepper spray online or in a store. It’s not that expensive and will deter him. Just make sure you know how to use it. Best of luck, people like that make my blood boil

  17. Don’t just tell this to the anonymous people on the internet, spread this information to your closest friends and family and protect yourself.

  22. One technique to get people to fuck off is the broken record player technique:
    Take a phrase (like ‘No thanks’ ‘No I don’t want to’ or just ‘No’) and repeat it the same way a broken record player would. Preferably same intonation, same cadence and everything.

    See any new response is new attention and gives him the idea he’s working on you. If you just say the exact same response everytime, as if he’s talking to a wall, he’ll eventually lose interest (bear in mind it still might take a lot longer than you expect, persistence is key). Even if he comments on always getting the exact same answer (which will annoy him without a doubt) keep at it. Repetition is key. If you feel like a bitch for only giving him pre programmed responses and nothing real, remember: he doesn’t feel bad about not respecting you, he just sees you as a new sex toy. Treat him like an ill raised child and show him discipline in your responses.

    EDIT: Okay I responded having only read the title. Yeah this dude is a rapist and psychopath. Make sure to never be alone around him is the best advice I can give. Maybe that in combination with the above might help a little.
    Leaving this up cause it’s a great way to deal with non violent but pestering dudes.

  26. I’m sorry about your situation. If your think your parents are not trustworthy try to find another family member or friend you can trust and tell them, it’s important that you are not the only one that knows about it. Also if can’t trust police either, if you have access to internet try to find any organization or hotlines that provide help either from your country or international, they will be able to help you better than enyone here, also they will probably have specific info about your country. Hope this helps. Stay safe, there is always a way to seek help.

  27. Hey OP, i know you said pepper spray is illegal where you are. Well it’s the same here and let me tell you this: hairspray is not illegal but it sure does burn, and quite literally burns if you pair it with a lighter

  28. I agree the police are useless at dealing with sexual harassment. I wouldn’t go to them either. But if your mother goes to them, will it actually cause any harm? It feels to me like you shouldn’t let that stop you telling her.

  29. If he tries anything, you kick, bite, fight and scream. Scream loud. I hate this advice, but it’s old and it’s true. Don’t shout ‘rape’, if your country is how you said, people won’t come for that. You yell ‘help’ or you yell ‘fire!’

    Certain parts are good to aim for for getting him off you. Obviously groin. The spot in the centre of the ribs, just below the ribcage, hit there hard enough you will wind him. The spot in between the collarbone at the bottom of the neck, two fingers and jab as hard as you can.

    I know you said you can’t carry pepper spray, fine, carry hairspray. Or fucking fly spray. You can’t get in trouble for carrying hairspray and it will still gas someone out enough to get them back so you can run.

  31. This is something where Reddit staff need to step in and help .

    Don’t sit idly by and do nothing

    This woman needs help .

  32. Call the cops on him
    He clearly doesn’t understand the meaning of no. So he’s a risk to both yourself and others.

  33. The less people you tell the less they will know about your situation so when it does happen they won’t feel sp responsible however if you do tell as many people and he does assault you then they def do something about it.

  36. He is just a rapist if he is doing things to you that you already said no i think its ok to hit him if he doesnt let go of you

  37. Is pepper spray easily accessible and legal to carry? If so I would definitely make the investment.

    You deserve to be and feel safe, having means of self defense could make a big difference

  38. Literally say no. Don’t be nice about it. As in don’t compliment him with a no. “You’re a nice guy but not my type” etc.. if he is rapey like he sounds. You need to simply say no. I do not want to have sex with you. Fuck even video him when you say it. Never be alone in the same room as him etc. If he does try to assault you, you have the proof on your video you said no

  39. Look I can see that a lot of people are trying to help you and every time we give you smth you turn it down and say “no it won’t work” without even trying it first. This is one of those things we’re yeah it may not work, but you better fucking try it before smth bad happens to you, do something ANYTHING it may not work, but then you can move on to another and another and eventually something will work. But the longer you sit there and do nothing the worse it’s gonna get

  40. Keep a record for yourself and document everything. Be visible to the public eye so that they can witness if there was to be any escalating situation

  42. If you can, talk to other guys who don’t take shit from anyone and tell them about what this guy is doing and ask that if he ever tries it again, that they could go and fuck him up properly

  43. I would hope my daughter would tell me if she was in your situation so I could see what he does when I want to fuck him and I won’t take no for an answer.

  46. So I just tried looking stuff up for Bulgaria, and of course Google failed me for once regarding self-defense laws.

    BUT I did see that knives and tasers are legal everywhere except Bargas (please look up your area just in case!). I also like others’ suggestion for a heavy-weight flash light.

    I’d also suggest learning some sort of self-defense moves / taking a self defense class. While this isn’t considered “domestic violence” (and apparently the laws there regarding DV suck, anyways), local DV shelters may have tips or ideas anyway so I would try contacting them.

    But no matter what, I’m wishing you luck and safety against this freak.

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