A message to my younger self. I hope this helps someone.

I am 41 and this is a letter to my 20 year old self who gave up too early.

We were naive when we were 10, weren’t we? Thinking we were great and life revolves around us. No one told us how hard it would be to grow up. You now believe no one cared enough to say look there is a pile of shit heading your way, learn to dodge it. There were hints like someone saying “hey lookout!” but that wasn’t enough to get through to us. We were young and we just wanted to play like children cause we were a child.

There is no rock-bottom. There is no day where you wake up say I had enough of this and magically have the mindset to change your life. The day is now. The enemy is you, every day for the rest of your life. The sooner you defeat the enemy the sooner you reap the rewards. Your family is there, they love you but they aren’t responsible for your problems. They are just living their life. It’s time for you to start living yours. The people you care about nag you do it because they care. Be grateful for them. If you keep this up something worse will happen. They will stop nagging you. They wont even look at you. They will expect nothing of you because you are worth nothing. They will move on. They have to look after themselves. They will give you false smiles because they don’t know what else to do because no matter what they do or have done nothing worked.

There is no army coming to save you. Go out there and meet the people you can connect with. Develop the skills you need. Ask for help and let them help you. At the very least humor them. What else do you got to lose? Don’t sit around expecting the people around you to change for you. The longer you wait the more you will hate yourself the bigger the hill becomes. Don’t become the me who is lonely and angry all the time. Don’t let the enemy, who says you can’t, win. You have your future to lose. There are people out there as lonely as you, searching to meet you and wants to love you back. Start now and never give up. They need you and you need you.