I’m really starting to be concerned these days.
Yesterday, I went to the gas station to buy lotto. I parked my car in the parking space and a woman ( in her 30s) pulled up next to me and unintentionally prevented me from exiting my car because she opened her door. So once she closed her car door, I exited my car, and then I saw that she had picked up uncomfortable speed.
At that very moment I received a call, so I answered my phone and just stood where I was and had a brief conversation with the person on the phone.
The young lady then exited the store and saw me still standing at the driver’s side of my car and picked up uncomfortable speed again and walked on the passenger’s side of her car ( away from me. )
Then as I walked towards the store, she ran into her car and immediately locked the doors as if I was gonna kidnap her. Then she drove away.
I was confused as heck. I felt insulted too. It’s not like I was staring at her. I never once eye contacted her. And I arrived at the store before her, so it’s not like she should feel followed.
My complexion is pretty close to white. I’m biracial and I wasn’t wearing clothes that come off as gangster. I don’t smoke. I don’t have tattoos on my body. I honestly don’t know why she felt intimidated by me.
And to top it off, a lot of people were outside as it was a busy day.
Ladies, do you feel uncomfortable when you are outdoor ? How do you go on dates with strangers: do you look up the guy background before agreeing to the date ? What is it like for you when you are out in public ?
I understand as women you got to be careful out there but how tensed are you when you are outdoor?
5 comments
I mean p much always on guard to some extent. You don’t have to “look” like a threat to be one. Everyone knows that. Her well being is more important than your feelings to be honest. Better safe than sorry
Homicide is the 4-5th most common cause of death for females under 45. We’re not doing it to ourselves, for the most part.
Dude, you being a guy is all it takes to appear as a threat to women. That is not an insult to you, it is a survival tactic we have to take on because it could really be any guy on the street. I don’t know why you brought up your skin colour, race, clothing, smoker status and tattoos because that shit literally doesn’t affect how scared most of us are when it comes to men. If there is a man, and we’re in a vulnerable position where it’s late at night, or it’s a closed off area or anything of the sort, we are on guard.
Women who take these precautions by walking faster, holding something in their hands, having a friend or the police on the phone, we don’t fucking know you. We don’t know if you’re a good person or not. What we do know is you appear to be a man. And men are literally the biggest threat to our safety. So don’t take it personally because that just screams insecurity.
Spoken like someone who has no idea what it’s like to be a woman. We’re constantly on alert because we have to be. Because often innocent looking people don’t turn out to be innocent. I’ve been followed home on foot, attacked by a guy on a date, hit on by random service people, felt guys staring and trying to get your attention at a stop light… And I’m just moderately attractive so I’m sure it’s much worse for hot women.
I promise you that interaction was not about you. Personally, I’m not going to risk getting myself killed because I’m trying to make some misguided feminist statement.
Why is this posted to dating advice?
Situations like this are never personal… she doesn’t know you… maybe you can take some comfort in that.
But, maybe she’s recently had a traumatic experience with a man or in general has some life experience that makes her wary. It could literally be anything.
I (F) don’t feel uncomfortable outside. But I can understand why someone might. Any generalization of all women here is going to be inaccurate & not useful.
Maybe she’s been assaulted in the past and that’s why she was so flighty.
I, like many other women, do our due diligence / research online before we meet a guy.