Hey all I’m 29M from the U.S, my gf is 28. We live in Italy, I’m currently serving and she’s a civilian. We’ve been dating since April when we matched on tinder(I know…). I went into dating not expecting much but eventually I asked her to be my gf in June. I was naive and selfish in the beginning as I entertained talking to other girls on instagram. I never did anything serious with those girls except somewhat entertain going out with them and messaging. Realistically I did it because I wasn’t confident of my future with her due to her red flags. Before me, she got dumped by her ex bf of 3 years, she even had to move out of his house. She currently goes to therapy and can acknowledge her flaws. One day a while ago my gf saw my DMs and was hurt by it. I told her that I was sorry and was only messaging them. She definitely changed a bit since then. I never entertained any DMs since. However, ever since then she has been worse with her red flags. We literally always argue and bicker about minuscule things. It can be anything really. I’ve come to learn that’s how she is. And I take it as she doesn’t respect my decision making or my role as the man in this relationship. She is always complaining about things and is negative a lot. I find it a bit annoying and have told her. I am aware of my flaws as well as I entertain the arguments, and at times yell or scream when I get overly frustrated. I hate myself for it, she’s cried multiple times because I get stubborn and mad about the fact that she continues pissing me off. I don’t know if I’m just easily angered. I really want to fix things with us. I routinely find that she does things that anger me even if it may not completely be her fault. Sometime I think it’s the cultural difference and slight language barrier. However I am tired of fighting all the time. And despite all of our flaws I have admitted to her that I love her and she reciprocated it back by saying it. She constantly messages me and I make sure I keep my space when needed. She always wants to see me and has talked about my future with her seriously. She’s coming home with me to the states for a few weeks during the holidays. But I am doubtful of my future with her if she continues acting this way. I know I messed up by talking to other girls a few months ago and she always brings it up when we get into bigger arguments. I just want to know what I should do? I realize my faults, but can it be she is just toxic and has an argumentative personality? Or that she is in love with this relationship on the premise that it gives her constant drama that entertains her from her boring life? She’s also said she feels I’m controlling at times. I think I respect her and treat her well. I want a future with her as our highs outweigh our lows, but I know it’s not a healthy relationship as we seldomly go a few days without another disagreement turned arguement. Thanks Reddit.
Tl;dr: me and my gf always argue, don’t know if I should cut the relationship off.