My husband (35M) and I (32F) have been married for about a year. We are both engineers and have decent jobs. My husband recently got a great job offer in Idaho Falls, Idaho, 4.5ish hours away from where we live right now. The new job pays $30K more that what is making right now, has great long term career perspective and he loves it. He hates his current job. But it would be difficult for me to find a job there. My only option would be to find a remote job, but they are not easy to find and the ones that are available are not good. I would not be able to advance my career if we moved there. Our other option is to do long distance, but I am not sure if that is worth it because we would spend a lot of money on travel and rent. We have been saving to buy a house and we now have enough for a down payment. Living in two different places would be complicated. I want my husband to advance his career, but I am not sure if relocating to Idaho Falls is good for our family. What do you think?
5 comments
I believe any spouse seeking a job should discuss the prospects of relocation before getting a job, like before applying or before sitting for interviews.
Discussing it after getting an offer makes the issues complicated.
🤷🏼♀️ my husband is military, for 25 years I have only lived wherever his career told us to.
I think if that’s the case and he’s had over 10yrs of experience he shouldn’t struggle significantly to find another job that pays more and in a location that works for you.
If you don’t mind relocating and terminating you career, then it’s not an issue.
But personally I would turn down the offer as a man
I really loved how you and your wife created a plan that works for both! It was nice of you to not want to relocate without your wife, understand her situation and find a middle ground. I did put the idea of relocating where both of us can find a stable job to my husband many times in last few months. He was reluctant to apply elsewhere and adamantly mentioned that he won’t find another job as good as the perspective job 4:30ish hours away and it is really good for his long term career growth. He mentioned today that he could be open to idea of finding a job in a location that works for me too. I am not sure if he means it though. Let’s see what he does.
This job is not best for your family since you will be earning less income as a family when you have to quit your job and may not find a comparable job. I would offer to help him with applying to other jobs. He may not be good at it but it sounds like you are. There can be opportunities in other locations which would be better for the family.